Disappointment is an irritating nag that suffocates joy in our life. Learning the liberating secret that frees us from its heaviness—is vital. If we don’t get out from under disappointments thumb, we end up cynical and distrustful in life.
If disappointment is your constant companion as it used to be mine, I’ve got good news for you—disappointment is not a way of life.
Disappointment is a spirit that settles on you. It’s the opposite of wearing rose-colored glasses, you’re wearing glasses alright, but they are tinted with disappointment—everything you see, hear and do, comes and goes through their filter.
Disappointment established its residence in my life when I was young. I grew up without my father, seeing him maybe twice a month. He constantly promised big things and I believe he really wanted to deliver them, but because of his own dysfunction—he lacked the ability to see his word through. I always wanted to believe he would keep his word, even though my mom consistently warned me that he wouldn’t. Mostly he would show up late, or not at all and very seldom keep his grandiose promises.
As I grew up I continuously expected to be disappointed, that way when things didn’t work out, the pain of being let down would be softened.
I lived with the expectation that people would not keep their word and that they would eventually disappoint me. The problem with that mindset is that it’s judgmental. Wearing the glasses of disappointment causes us to weigh and measure others unjustly. These glasses also cause us to get into the mode of self-protection, where we mistrust and doubt love, becoming prone to offense.
Accordingly, we unhealthily guard our heart from love—forming walls. Every disappointing offense is brick and mortar—building for ourselves a nice little fortress around our heart—making it difficult for loved ones to penetrate, let alone God. The interesting fact about self-protection is that it breeds selfishness and sets us up to live in a world dictated by self.
The secret I’ve learned, is that my trust was misdirected. Granted parents, spouses and family should be trust worthy, but because we live in such a fallen selfish world, where sin abounds, some people are dysfunctional and do not know how to properly love each other. I now have grace for such people, since I myself used to be one!
What I mean by misdirected, is that we are trusting in all the wrong things and in the wrong people.
This may sound harsh, but God really is the only one who is completely trust worthy. Why? Because God is not human. Human nature at its best is not flawless, but God is.
This is a hard shift to make but completely doable, mainly we take a huge leap of faith and decide that yes, God’s Word—the Bible, is true and I am going to believe it! God is worthy of my trust and I am going to give it to Him!
Numbers 23:19 says,
God is not man, one given to lies, and not a son of man changing his mind. Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise and not come through?
At first it’s an issue of the will, we will ourselves to trust and believe in Gods faithfulness—He provides grace for such a task. With the issue of trust settled, it becomes a heart issue. We learn to allow God to heal our heart and soul, thus possess it.
Now, all our trust is in God and His will for our life. We no longer trust in our job for money—no, God’s the one who supplies all our needs and the job is just the tool He is using.
We no longer trust people or situations to rescue us, but we trust God—He’s the rescue. He will use people and situations, but they are not our hope—He is.
A lot of the time we say “If I just had that job (or that house or that spouse or that situation) then my life would be easier or better. The truth is, with that mindset our trust is misdirected.
Instead we ought to live our life knowing—Yes, God does bring opportunities that better our life and make it abundant, but those opportunities are not what we place our hope in.
Our Hope is Christ. Everything else is extra!
Proverbs 13:12 says,
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
Please be encouraged to place all your trust in God, where your hope will not be deferred!
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. Jeremiah 17:7