Skillful Living 101—22 Parenting

Parenting . . . the hardest most complex job on earth. Yet parenting holds the highest value and reward of anything we might possibly do with our life.

Psalm 127:3

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

As a parent I am so grateful to have an instruction manual on child rearing—as I’m sure all parents are.

Unfortunately—most instruction manuals or directions don’t get read until completely necessary. If you’re young—please be encouraged to read the manual now! If you are in the middle of raising children—read the manual now! If your children are young adults—especially read the manual now! If you are a grandparent—read the manual now! It’s never too early or too late!

Being on this end of life where all but one of my kids are grown adults, I sometimes bemoan the fact that there are no “do-overs” when it comes to raising children.

If your kids are grown and your heart is heavy—caught up in regretfully recounting your mistakes—remember there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. Ask for forgiveness—forgive yourself and do God’s best from here on out. God is a faithful redeemer—He redeems our errors and covers our sin.

The first ingredient to parenting is humble, unconditional love. We must by grace and the Holy Spirit’s assistance, love our kids the way God loves us—He never gives up on us. We must always hope and believe in our children. Sometimes love takes on different forms of behavior—this means—tough love is sometimes necessary.

At times I marvel at how complex parenting really is. Parenting is a letting go adventure. These children are born to us, of our own flesh and blood—and we lovingly train them to grow up—leave us—and live their own lives.

Parenting, from the very first hour, demands complete reliance on God. I am so thankful to have an all knowing, all loving, all understanding One to lean on. Prayerfully depending on God is imperative. Since raising children is a lifelong commitment with so many ups, downs and curves—all scripture applies.

One of the things I know—from experience—is we the parents, cannot instruct or impart to our children what we do not ourselves possess. If we want our children to be healthy people of integrity and good character, then we must be as well. There is no room for double-mindedness. Most things are caught rather than taught.

Proverbs—the Book of Skillful Living has crucial advice on parenting—no matter your stage of life.

Let’s look at Proverbs 22 and, with a sincere heart, intentionally live these principles and purpose to teach them to our children and grandchildren.

Verse 1—“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.”

• Taking on the name of Christ—invaluable
• God’s favor—vital

Verse 2—“The rich and the poor have this in common; the Lord is the maker of them all.”

• Identity is found in Christ alone

Verse 4—“By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.”

• Humility and the fear of the Lord are high priorities to God
• The fear of the Lord inherit within a person helps them to love and obey God and parents
• Honoring God aids us in honoring our self and others, as well as authority

Verse 5, 3, 8, 10, 24, 25—“Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; he who guards his soul will be far from them.”

• Guarding your soul from evil is crucial to a successful life

Verse 6—“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

• We can never stop pouring God’s love and Word into our kids. I’ve seen this dynamic take place in the life of my 2^nd son. When he gave up living for himself and surrendered to God—all that had been poured into his heart as a child never departed—God’s Word is timeless, alive and active, it never sleeps but always accomplishes what God sets out to do.
• Love the church and teach kids the same

Verses 11 & 14—“He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend.” “The mouth of an immoral woman is a deep pit; he who is abhorred by the Lord will fall there.”

• A love for purity and grace are never overrated
• Friendship with the King—highly valuable!

Verse15—“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 29:17, Proverbs 13:24

• The Word repeatedly warns—If we love our children we will discipline them
• Loving discipline and correction will create healthy adults
• Warning to fathers: Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Verses 18 & 19—“Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge; for it is a pleasant thing if you keep them within you; let them all be fixed upon your lips, so that your trust may be in the Lord”

• Preserve wisdom, knowledge and trust in your heart
• Teach kids to bind themselves to Godly wisdom

Verse 29 & 13—“Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before unknown men.”

• God seriously does not approve of slothful behavior
• Diligently teach Children diligence
• A good work ethic is priceless

Skillful Living Tools:

• Children are a heritage and reward—enjoy them!
• Children are a huge responsibility—train them in the ways of the Lord
• Read and apply the instruction manual—the Bible
• Pray without ceasing
• Teach kids to prayerfully depend on God
• Teach integrity and Godly moral character
• Do not be double minded
• Teach kids to be single focused—God first
• Love never fails—unconditionally love the kids God gifted to you
• Fathers, do not provoke your children
• Love the church and teach kids the same

Please be encouraged to surrender your parenting to God and His Word—trusting Him for all the answers.

Side Note: God is redeeming the struggling, wayward child—no matter their age. My heart knows the anguish of watching your child self-destruct. My advice to you—keep your heart focused on God. Find peace and rest for your heart, in relationship with Him for He cares for you and can carry your burden, if you will just give it to Him. I am praying for you and your children.

Read and apply all of Proverbs 22 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated) at the top of this page!

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Skillful Living 101—19 Integrity

It seems at every turn our integrity is being tested, pushed or pulled in some direction or another. It’s no wonder when the core meaning of integrity is to be complete. The devil, the world and our flesh are in full rebellion against complete, sound, whole people. With this in mind we should wholeheartedly pursue integrity.

Others words for integrity are: upright, morally sound, truthful and honest. I have found the integrity that God desires us to have is best displayed when nobody is looking—it’s integrity of the heart, found in the deepest part of who we are. As we become integrious in our inner person—our outward person will follow.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Something that will help us to live in integrity and holiness is the realization that God knows all the thoughts, intentions and motives of our heart and soul—nothing is hidden from Him. This should motivate us! And remember, God in His faithfulness never asks us to do what He won’t equip us for. God will help us be people of integrity—hence we have the book of Skillful Living—Proverbs—our integrity equipping manual!

Proverbs is inundated with advice on how to be people of integrity. Here we review a handful of verses from chapter 19.

Verse 1—“Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.”

• A person of integrity is wealthier than any rich man

Verse 2— “Desire without knowledge is not good, and to be overhasty is to sin and miss the mark.” (AMP)

• Integrity requires Godly knowledge and wisdom

Verse 3—People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed? MSG

• Acquire integrity and stop blaming God for the mistakes you make

Verse 9—“The person who tells lies gets caught; the person who spreads rumors is ruined.” (MSG)

• The integrious are truthful and do not indulge in gossip

Verse 11—“Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.”

• Integrity will help us restrain from anger
• The integrious do not embrace offence

Verse 13—“A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.”

• Train children to have integrity
• An integrious woman makes a good wife

Verse 16—“He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, but he who is careless of his ways will die.”

• Integrity keeps us mindful of our obedience to God

Verse 17—“Mercy to the needy is a loan to God, and God pays back those loans in full.” (MSG)

• People of integrity are merciful

Verse 22—“What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.”

• The integrious are kind

Verse 26—“He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.”

• People of integrity honor their parents

Verse 27—“Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

• The integrious have an ear to hear God’s voice and the heart to listen

Skillful Living Tools

• Wholeheartedly pursue integrity.
• God desires integrity in our inner person
• God knows the thoughts, intentions and motives of our heart and soul
• A person of integrity is wealthier than any rich man
• Acquire integrity and stop blaming God for the mistakes you make
• Integrity will help us restrain from anger
• Train children to have integrity
• An integrious woman makes a good wife
• People of integrity honor their parents

Please be encouraged to indulge in integrity—we can never have too much!

Read and apply all of Proverbs 19 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—18 Our Strong Tower

A life that is lived skillfully would most definitely be a life lived in God’s presence.

Proverbs 18:10, describes God as a strong tower where the righteous run in and are safe. I love how compassionate and loving God is, that He provides a place where we can find refuge and peace. This refuge is not just any old place—no, our place of security is in the very presence of God.

One way to understanding God’s presence is to see it as a shelter, a fortress and a hiding place. A dwelling—where our life is hidden in God, not that we necessarily hide from life, but an actual place where we live life.

Colossians 2:3 says

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Proverbs—the book of skillful living, is all about setting our mind on things above and not on the things of the earth. Living a life hidden with Christ in God, helps us to rise above earthy circumstances—rise above trivial—setting our heart and soul on the most important—the things of God.

A good way to remain diligent in living skillfully—thus setting our mind on things above is to make living in God’s presence our daily objective. In doing so we must grab a hold of His Word—making it our source of nourishment.

In Proverbs 18, we find a myriad of good advice and nourishment. Granted the whole chapter is beneficial but we will look at six main points, found in verses 10, 15, 19, 21, 22 and 24.

Verse 10—“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.”

• The righteous make God their refuge
• God is our help

Verse 15—“The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”

• A sensible person esteems knowledge
• To set our mind on things above, we must pursue biblical knowledge
• The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge

Verse 19—“A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.”

• An offended person, whether they be right or wrong, is harder to talk to, and work things out with, than a fortified city
• It’s better to pray and wait—rather than argue with an offended person
• Remember offence is a choice—we must keep our heart free of offence

Verse 21—“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

• Our words will bring life our death to those on whom they fall
• If we love gossip and slander, we will reap its rewards
• We need to make habit of speaking life into people and situations
• Controlling our tongue is a heart issue

Verse 22—“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

• A spouse is a blessing from the Lord
•  We have to be good stewards of God’s blessings

Verse 23—“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

• First be a friend
• Faithfulness is priceless

Skillful Living Tools

• Make it your daily objective to live in God’s presence
• Learn to know God’s presence as a shelter, refuge, a fortress and a hiding place
• Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth
• Grab a hold of God’s Word—making it your source of nourishment.
• To set our mind on things above, we must pursue biblical knowledge
• It’s better to pray and wait— rather than argue with an offended person
• Death and life are in the power of the tongue
• Make habit of speaking life into people and situations
• Treat your spouse good—they are a blessing from God
• A faithful friend is priceless

Please be encouraged to seek God as your strong tower and place of refuge—here your heart can settle and be at peace.

Read and apply all of Proverbs 18 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

 

 

Skillful Living 101—17 Foolish Behavior

Everyone is given to foolish behavior at various times in life, that’s just normal. Continuing in foolishness on the other hand, is a very disagreeable way of life that’s not only frowned upon by society, but worse—God is not pleased with incessant foolishness.

Almost all of Proverbs addresses foolish behavior, giving us ways, ideas and instruction on how not to be foolish. Proverbs 17 holds quite a few truths in regard to the fool and gives sound advice on how to step out of unwise behavior.

Essentially the word unwise says it all. Foolish behavior is nothing less than unwise behavior—this is the memo that all of Proverbs is shouting out…“Get Wisdom!”

Verse 10 of Proverbs 17 is quite interesting,

A reproof enters deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred lashes into a [self-confident] fool.

Have you ever heard the saying “Knock some sense into him”? This passage skillfully reiterates the fact that fools can be so hard-headed that not even a hundred whacks will change them.

This is not so with a wise person who possesses discernment and understanding. A person who has Godly wisdom is not prone to offence and can gracefully receive rebuke and correction, be it from the Lord or from a friend. Not only can they receive but they will also seek God on how to change such behavior.

Proverbs 17:12 says,

Better to meet a grizzly robbed of her cubs than a fool hellbent on folly.

This is such a startling description of a fool!

Read the following verses from Proverbs 17 and see what else God says about a fool and their behavior. In these verses we also see that a fool is said to be:  unruly, an evildoer and a liar, one who mocks and gloats, empty-headed, one who repeats a matter (gossips), one who seeks rebellion, rewards evil, a person without a heart for wisdom, devoid of understanding, one who loves transgression and strife, someone with a deceitful heart and perverse tongue, a scoffer, a person who takes bribes, argues with justice, a grief to their father and bitterness to their mother and a fool is said to be a dunce.

Verse 2—“A wise servant takes charge of an unruly child and is honored as one of the family.” (MSG)
Verse 4—“An evildoer gives heed to wicked lips; and a liar listens to a mischievous tongue.” (AMP)
Verse 5—“Whoever mocks poor people insults their Creator; gloating over misfortune is a punishable crime.” (MSG)
Verse 7—“Fine or arrogant speech does not befit [an empty-headed] fool—much less do lying lips befit a prince.” (AMP)
Verse 9—“He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.” (NKJ)
Verse 11—“An evil man seeks only rebellion; therefore a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” (NKJ)
Verse 13—“Whoever rewards evil for good, evil will not depart from his house.” (NKJ)
Verse 15—“He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both an abomination [exceedingly disgusting and hateful] to the Lord.” (AMP)
Verse 16—“Of what use is money in the hand of a [self-confident] fool to buy skillful and godly Wisdom—when he has no understanding or heart for it?” (AMP)
Verse 19—“He who loves transgression loves strife, and he who exalts his gate seeks destruction.”(NKJ)
Verse 20—“He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, and he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil.” (NKJ)
Verse 21—“He who begets a scoffer does so to his sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy.” (NKJ)
Verse 23—“The wicked take bribes under the table; they show nothing but contempt for justice.” (MSG)
Verse 25—“A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.” (NKJ)
Verse 28—“Even dunces who keep quiet are thought to be wise; as long as they keep their mouths shut, they’re smart.” (MSG)

Skillful Living Tools

• Get Wisdom—God is not pleased with incessant foolishness
  
• Hate Gossip—a fool listens to a mischievous tongue
• Don’t gloat—instead pray—a fool gloats over misfortune
• Cover transgressions and seek love
• Never reward evil or justify wickedness—or they will be our constant house guest
• Have a heart for wisdom
• Love justice and don’t take bribes
• Train children in Godliness
• Keep quite—our opinion is not always needed

My hope in writing this entry in the Skillful Living series is to awaken our heart and soul to the seriousness of foolish behavior, therefore assisting us to seek God for help in areas where we might still dabble in foolishness.

Please be encouraged to read all of Proverbs 17 and share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—16 Choosing the Right Path

Making decisions and choosing the right paths in life, are daily concerns. If we are not sure how to get God’s direction then we can easily get overwhelmed. The skillful living advice found in Proverbs 16 is a valuable fortune to attain; it holds truth that can help guide us in the right direction, assisting us in avoiding pitfalls that occur when taking the wrong path.

Basically choosing the right paths and or direction in life is a surrender issue.

Verse 9 sums it all up for us,

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

Listen to Proverbs 19:21

You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

There are two ways to go about finding God’s direction—both lead to the same ending.

1. We can make our plans and take our own steps in pursuing those plans.
2. A. We can ask God for His plans and direction. Patiently waiting, relying on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide us.
   B. We can make plans and submit them to God, asking for His will to be done. Relinquishing our desires knowing His will is best. Also patiently waiting, relying on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide us.

No matter which way we go about choosing, or what choice we make—the end result will be the same—God’s purpose for our life will prevail.

I’m half a century old, and believe me I have tried and retried over and over again to make the first way of choosing work—but it never has.

God loves us too much, to allow our plans for our life to supersede His.

This might be frustrating to some people, because they just want to do what they want, but truly God knows the beginning to the end of each situation. He knows how it will start and how it will end and every detail in the middle. He wants the best for us, that’s why He wants us to choose His paths.

Taking our own paths and following our own direction is not only disobedience, but painful. Sometimes after we wake up from a bad choice—be it years, months or days later, we have regret, desiring that we would have listened to God or the good counsel He put in front of us.

I’ll never forget these words; “Careful, that pitfall will cost you two years, oh watch out for that one, it’ll take five years to get out.” They were spoken by an older prophetic gentleman; he was talking about wanting to warn people before they charged through life, not inquiring of God’s direction.

Being a Mom of teens and young adults, I’m constantly reiterating the concept of these scriptures. My kids are visionaries with huge dreams and plans—I love this about them and believe these are God given qualities inherit within them, but that doesn’t mean every idea is God breathed. My advice to them is to submit their plans to God and find out which path He wants them to take. I desire my kids to be discerning of God’s voice and will—this will assist them in not wasting their life getting in and out of pitfalls.

Understandably the desert of some pitfalls are places God allows us to go through, where we can find Him in a new way as we learn life’s lessons, but I don’t necessarily believe they are all God ordained stops in life. We can learn just as much, if not more, by first submitting to the obedience of God’s will. There are huge blessings in seeking, finding and following God’s will.

I had an interesting conversation with a young friend, who told me a story about his relationship with a random girl—now in his life forever. The gist of the story was this; he was reflecting on what he called the ripple effect. He met a girl, knew her only a week or two and had sex with her. He said he didn’t love her, she was not really his type but it had been awhile—so he indulged himself. The relationship, loaded with issues, became one of convenience for both of them—until she got pregnant.

The ripple effect started first by living a casual lifestyle of ignoring God, second by fulfilling the lust of the flesh and having sex outside of marriage. Then pregnancy, it continued with an unwanted dysfunctional relationship, sharing a child, who will no doubt reap the consequences. He sadly said “One bad choice has caused a lifelong ripple in my life.”

Opening one door of self-will, can lead to many other doors that inevitably open more doors— leading to hardship, heartache and wasted time.

Proverbs 16 gives generous advice on this concept, it would significantly benefit us and those we influence, to listen and follow its guidance.

Verse 1—“Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.” (MSG)
Verse 2—“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirits (the thoughts and intents of the heart).” (AMP)
Verse 3—“Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” (NLT)
Verse 5—“The Lord detests the proud; they will surely be punished.” (NLT)
Verse 7—“When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (NKJ)
Verse 9—“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (NLT)
Verse 16—“How much better it is to get skillful and godly Wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.” (AMP)
Verse 17—“The road of right living bypasses evil; watch your step and save your life.” (MSG)
Verse 18—“First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” (MSG)
Verse 20—“It pays to take life seriously; things work out when you trust in God.” (MSG)
Verse 25—“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (NKJ)
Verse 33—“Make your motions and cast your votes, but God has the final say.” (MSG)

The heart breaking ripple effect can be avoided by tucking our self into relationship with God, where we hear His voice, know His will and delight in obedience.

Skillful Living Tools

• A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps
  
• You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail
• Choosing the right paths and or direction in life is a surrender issue
• Submit plans, ideas and dreams to God, asking for His will to be done
• Patiently wait on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide you
• Remember the ripple effect: choices have consequences
• The road of right living bypasses evil
• Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed
• Pride comes before a fall
• God always has the final say

Please be encouraged—skillful living comes by patiently submitting our plans to God before we proceed.

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—15 Taming the Tongue

Though the tongue may be small it carries tremendous weight, having the power to bring either life or death. A perpetual topic throughout scripture is on the use of this petite, but very influential member of our body.

Controlling the words that roll off our tongue are of utmost importance to the Lord. One passage of scripture goes so far as to say, that if we cannot control our tongue than our belief is useless.

James 1:26,

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion [faith, belief] is worthless.

This is critical. If we are not cognizant of this fact, we could live our whole life in deceit—gossiping and slandering people under the guise of Christian concern. I do not want to live my life unaware of how important an unbridled tongue is to God!

Truthfully, the use of the tongue is one of those matters that most of us know about and suffer from (in some degree or another) but choose to disregard or let slide as not really a sin. Why? Basically, our flesh loves to gossip—grosser still—it feeds on it. Not to mention the devil’s plan to deceive us with the lie that it’s okay and not really gossip or slander. Worse yet, we can be deceived to the point of not even thinking gossip and slander are sin. Read 2 Timothy 3:2-5, Titus 1:15-16, Psalm 101:5 and I Peter 4:15, to see if it’s a sin or not.

As the beautiful bride of Christ this is an area we constantly have to guard and purposely keep in check.

Another important point to make about the tongue is found in Matthew 12:34,

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

If our words are foul, we need not look any further than our heart for the answer as to why. Our speech is a heart issue. Our heart is to be God’s home, a place where He alone can reside. It’s our wellspring and it needs to be kept pure.

Words that give life come from a blameless heart—such words refresh the soul of those on whom they fall. Let’s make it our passion to keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life.

Proverbs 15 holds many truths about a controlled tongue and a pure heart:

Verse 1—“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Verse 2—“The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”

Verse 4—“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Verse 7—“The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so.”

Verse 14—“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.”

Verse 23—“A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

Verse 26—“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but the words of the pure are pleasant.”

Verse 28—“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”

Living skillfully requires an undefiled heart and a bridled tongue.

So maybe this all sounds great and the Holy Spirit is nudging (convicting) you to guard your heart and tongue, but it seems a hard task. If so, please remember He gives grace to the humble. Simply repent and turn to God asking him for the grace to purify your heart and cleanse your speech. (Read and apply James 4:6-10) God loves it when we come to Him asking for help to be more like Him!

Two, really good scriptures to pray daily are, Psalm 141:3 and Psalm 51:6;

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts [heart], and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Please be encouraged to keep your heart pure and your speech above reproach, you will live skillfully if you do!

Skillful Living Tools:

• The power of death and life are in the tongue, (Proverbs 18:21)
• Controlling our tongue is important to God
• Don’t be deceived—Gossip and slander are sin, (2 Timothy 3:2-5)
• Don’t feed your flesh with Gossip (Galatians 5:16)
• Our speech is a heart issue, (Matthew 12:34)
• Keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life
• A soft answer turns away wrath
• A wholesome tongue is a tree of life
• A perverse tongue breaks the spirit
• The words of the pure are pleasant
• The heart of the righteous studies how to answer

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—14 Upright

If you’ve read the Bible for any length of time, you’ve no doubt come across the word upright. A huge component to living skillfully, is to ascertain uprightness. I know it can seem as an out dated expression or concept, but truthfully, living uprightly is key to relationship with God and to blessings.

The attributes of the upright are: Integrity, blameless, prudent, virtue, honor, morality, truth, reliability, decency, discrete, honest and righteousness.

Two character traits of an upright person are wisdom, and understanding. The book of Proverbs is drenched with instruction on being wise and acquiring understanding.

Everyone with any sense—desires to navigate through life skillfully. Remember—the book of Proverbs is our guide for skillful living. A firm grasp on uprightness will assist us in living wisely.

One way to look at uprightness is to see it as freedom. Leviticus 26:13 says,

I have broken the bands of your yoke and made you walk upright.

The burden of bondage causes us to slump over with heaviness, worry, condemnation and shame. Freedom looses us to stand upright, both in our stature and in our heart and soul.

Almost all of Proverbs 14 has to do with walking uprightly, but I will highlight just a few (or more) significant verses, using NKJV and The Message.

Verse 1, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
This is huge and one of my favorites (being a woman and all). If we are not in unity and submission with God and His will, as well as with our husbands, we—with our own hands demolish our family! Careful ladies!

Verse 2—“He who walks in his uprightness fears the Lord, but he who is perverse in his ways despises Him.”
The Message version reiterates this verse very frankly. “An honest life shows respect for God; a degenerate life is a slap in his face.” Ouch!

Verse 3—“In the mouth of a fool is a rod of pride, but the lips of the wise will preserve them.”

Verse 9—“Fools mock at sin, but among the upright there is favor.”
Upright people have a hard time sinning—God’s favor, is their reward.

Verse 10—“The house of the wicked will be overthrown, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”

Verse 12 & 13—“There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to hell. Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak.”

Verse 25—“Souls are saved by truthful witness and betrayed by the spread of lies.”

Verse 29—“Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.”

Verse 30—“A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones.”
One way to attain good health is to align your heart with God’s.

Verse 33—“Wisdom rests in the heart of him who has understanding, but what is in the heart of fools is made known.”

Maybe you’re wondering—how do I live uprightly? How do I get wisdom and understanding? These are not stupid questions!

First, start with sincerely asking God—if we seek Him we will find Him. Seeking God means to wholeheartedly go after Him.

Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.

Next, if you’re seriously seeking Him, expect that He will answer and show you His will. When He does—deny yourself and obey His directives.

A lot of the time God keeps silent because He knows we won’t listen and do what He tells us, that’s why we must seek Him diligently. If we want to be wise and have understanding thus live uprightly—the first wise step is to listen and obey.

Proverbs 1:28-29
When they cry for help, I will not answer. Though they anxiously search for me, they will not find me.  For they hated knowledge and chose not to fear (obey) the Lord.

Changing our lifestyle is not always easy and change has to start on the inside. In seeking God first, we can be confident that He will take care of all the things we are concerned about. (Matt. 6:33)

Please be encouraged to ask God to help you live your life uprightly, you will not regret it—there are many rewards for upright living!

Skillful Living Tools

• To live skillfully—ascertain uprightness
• Understand that living uprightly is freedom
• Build your home with wisdom—don’t tear it apart with un-submissiveness
• The home and family of the upright will flourish
• Respect and honor God by living an honest life
• Be slow to anger
• The first step in being wise—is to listen and obey
• Remember change starts on the inside

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—13 Correction

Correction. A common thread throughout Proverbs 13.

It seems an almost unacceptable concept and such an abrasive word these days. We live in a culture that does not want to be corrected, convicted or disciplined—no just pacified with an extreme illusion of grace.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a grace person—I couldn’t live without it. In my less mature stages of life, I used grace—basically as a pass to do what I wanted and to view Christianity from my own narrow perspective. As I’ve grown in understanding of the fear of the Lord and the Bible, I now know grace to be the wind beneath the wings, of my obedience to God’s will.

Proverbs 13 starts and ends with guidance on discipline, obedience, correction and rebuke. By now we see that the entire book of Skillful Living (Proverbs) is saturated with scriptures referring to these topics. The Lord is speaking to us— instructing us, for our own good, to be wise and embrace understanding, discipline, correction, rebuke and instruction.

The following six verses from Proverbs 13 portray the importance of submitting to correction.

Verse 1—A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.

Verse 10—Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.

Verse 13—People who despise advice are asking for trouble; those who respect a command will succeed.

Verse 14—The instruction of the wise is like a life-giving fountain; those who accept it avoid the snares of death.

Verse 18—Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, but he who regards a rebuke will be honored. (NKJ)

Verse 24—Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Proverbs 13:24 bluntly states, if parents do not discipline their children—then they hate them! Pretty drastic don’t you think? Let’s face it—God’s Word is radical. (To be honest that’s one reason I love it so much!)

Some may protest—how can God the Father, the God of love, discipline or rebuke His children??? Essentially it’s because of love that He disciplines us—otherwise He’d hate us!

God the Father cares enough for us that He will discipline, convict, correct and rebuke us, so that we can be humble and wise. Please do not get caught up in the devil’s plan and get offended by this.

Hebrews 12:7
As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?

Proverbs 3:12
My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.  For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

It’s truth—it’s Bible!

Be encouraged to embrace God’s love by accepting correction—you’ll be all the wiser if you do!

Skillful Living Tools:

• Embrace God’s correction
• View grace as that which helps you obey God’s will
• Be humble—take advice
• Respect a command
• Accept instruction—avoid the snares of death
• Regard a rebuke and be honored
• Love your children enough to discipline them
• Stay clear of offense
• Endure divine discipline
• Don’t get upset when God corrects you

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—12 Get WIsdom!

Have you ever tried to wake a sleeping teenager up? If your life is anything like mine…you give the first call…then the second…by the fifth, your voice is raised. Finally, our darling teen raises their sleepy head and says, “Why are you yelling at me, you’ve only asked me to get up once?”

In thinking and praying about Proverbs 12, wisdom—once again is the main theme. It’s not exactly stated over and over as in some of the Proverbs, but it is highly implied. And in reading this Proverb you just know, if only one had wisdom all the truths written here could so easily be applied to life. Essentially this is true of all the Proverbs.

It reminds me of waking my sleepy, almost comatose teenagers. In Proverbs we are urged, warned, advised, counseled, directed and yes bluntly told to get wisdom, to secure understanding, to desire righteousness; basically we are told to “Wake up!!”

You know that feeling when you look someone in the eye and give them detailed instructions? They’re nodding yes they understand, yet you know it’s just not sinking in? I’m getting the inclination that this is how the book of Proverbs is—God’s alive and active Word is reiterating what we should do. We nod in agreement, then walk away and say “Now what was that again?”

What’s interesting about obtaining wisdom, is that the moments of forgetting what God’s Word says will lessen and the ability to obey will increase with the more wisdom we attain.  

Thankfully God is very long-suffering and offers periods of grace to us, but I do believe we need to wake up and acquire wisdom.

For the most part wisdom is free; however it is costly in the sense that, as we apprehend it, we can no longer walk in our former foolishness. And to some that’s the deal breaker.

I want to encourage you to desire a crown of wisdom. A crown brings honor to the one who wears it. It encircles the head reminding us of its presence. It also surrounds our mind with protection. We should think of a crown of wisdom as we would a wall of protection surrounding a city; it will protect us from invaders, as well as our own harmful decisions and from speaking foolish words we may regret.

The beauty of wearing a crown of wisdom is that it will give us the ability to follow God’s ways.

Following are a few ways from Proverbs 12, that a crown of wisdom will benefit its recipient.

• Verse 1—“Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Wisdom will assist us in loving instruction and knowledge and will help us heed correction—wisdom will help you us not to be stupid.
• Verse 4—“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Wisdom will help wives to be a delicately beautiful addition to her husband. Instead of a burdensome weight a wife can be of value. Her husband will benefit from her wisdom and both will prosper.
• Verse 11—“He who tills his land will be satisfied with bread, but he who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding.” Wisdom will aid us in being productive and help us stay on task; it can keep us free from the trap of laziness.
• Verse 17 and 22—“He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit.” “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.” Wisdom will cause us to be the Lords delight and sustain us in righteousness, helping us speak truth, it can deliver us from being a gossip, a liar, a deceiver and from being deceived.
• Verse 25—“Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Wisdom can keep us from anxiety that causes depression, it will keep you in the truth of God’s good word.
• Verse 28— “In the way of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.” Most importantly a crown of wisdom will keep us in intimate relationship with the Lord, helping us to live eternally minded.

Wearing a crown of wisdom is a huge responsibility, but well worth the obligation. The only time a crown of wisdom can tarnish is when we take the glory of being wise unto ourselves. We must remember every good and perfect gift comes from God…especially a crown of wisdom.

Please be encouraged to seek God for your crown of wisdom, I trust that you will wear it well.

Skillful Living Tools:

• Wake up and acquire a crown of wisdom—ask God for it
• Love instruction, knowledge and correction
• Wives: get wisdom—be an excellent wife
• Speak truth, declare righteousness
• Avoid depression by staying in God’s Word—speak the truth to and over your mind
• Live eternally minded

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Describe Yourself

If you had to write a short one liner describing yourself what would you write? What if someone else had to define your character using one short line of words, what do you think it would say?

What would you write about Jesus in one line? What do you think He would write about Himself?

The only description Jesus ever gave of Himself is found in Matthew 11:29.

 I am gentle and lowly in heart                                          

No doubt, Jesus could have said amazing things about Himself. If we are confident people, then I’m sure without hesitation we can reiterate remarkable words about our self.

Why did Jesus describe Himself only once, and why only two expressions—gentle and lowly in heart?

I believe it was because of the “H” Word—humble—He was humble.

There are certain words that cause our flesh to recoil. To humorously ease you into them, I like to call them the “H” Word, the “F” Word or the “S” Word, etc. etc.

The “H” Word—humble or humility
The “F” Word—forgive or forgiveness
The “P” Word—pride
The “S” Word—submit, surrender or suffering
The “R” Word—relinquish or resignation

All joking aside, Jesus chose to describe Himself not with words of grandeur, but with simple yet difficult words that we as followers of Christ, by His grace, need to duplicate within our self.

Let’s look at all of Matthew 11:29

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

One way this scripture can be seen is—Jesus saying;
“Take my yoke”—submit to my ways.
“Learn from me”—listen, I have something to teach you.
“I’m gentle and lowly in heart”—I am humble.
“You will find rest for your soul”—in following these steps you will find a rare attribute to add to your life—peace.

As we submit to His yoke and humbly learn from Him we will be like Him and our heart, mind, will and emotions will be at peace.

In Romans 12:3 Paul says,

I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him.

We need to be honest in our estimation of our self, always measuring ourselves to God and His Word. Confidence is good and needed, but why not be gentle and lowly in heart? Thus, confident in who God is in us.

It’s easy to boast of God and unlike boasting in our self—it’s always true!
Psalm 34:2 “My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad.”

There is a difference in being confidently humble verses humbly confident!

Be encouraged to live a life marked by humility.

Psalm 131 “Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp.Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.  O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—now and always.”