Avoiding Relationship Failure

Relationships come in many shapes and sizes. From intensely deep to causal. No matter the relationship—the concept of preferring one another always applies.

This morning as I was preparing a word for a friend whose marring later today, the Lord dropped the word preference into my heart, along with Romans 12:10,

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Following is a re-post of a blog written about this time last year. This concept is timeless. Please—enjoy and apply!

Just the other day, I had a great conversation with a young bride to be. I was reminded of an amazing concept the Lord deposited in my heart years ago regarding relationships.

This approach to relationships is especially ideal when it comes to marriage.

Before I share this amazing secret with you, let me ask you a question. What do you think is the leading cause of any relationship malfunction and divorce?

Granted, I’m no expert but what God has shown me, is that selfishness and pride are the number one culprits of relationship failure.

I call it, “The Me factor.”

The secret  to relationships is “Preference.” Defined as: to value more highly, to hold before or above; and to give priority to.

Our example is found in Jesus. At the cross He preferred you and me. He knew it would be a brutal endeavor to go through, yet He chose God’s will over His. (Luke 22:42)

The concept unfolds as this—if each person in the relationship/marriage prefers and thinks more highly of the other, caring for the needs of the other person over their own needs, then all needs will be met.

Living a life of preference takes the focus off of our self; what I want—what I need and puts the emphasis on the other person in the relationship. We move out of the selfishness of concentrating on our own wants, needs and desires and tune into what will bless the other person.

Is this an easy way to live? No.

Why? Because in order to be like Jesus we must die daily—we must decrease so He can increase.

The fear to this lifestyle is; what if the other person in the relationship doesn’t want to live a preferring life style? What about Me? How will my needs be met?

Valid concern. The answer—Jesus.

Since He really is, the only one who should or could, complete, fulfill or meet our needs—then He is the answer.

This was a difficult concept to grasp, mainly because it opposed my flesh. But once I submitted to the Lord in this—it changed my life, not to mention all my relationships!

In my marriage I stopped choking the life out of my husband trying to get him to meet my every need. Essentially I discovered that Jesus really is enough for me.

This concept brings freedom. It frees you to go deeper in relationship with God, making Him all you need. It frees you to love others, love your spouse, parents, children and siblings without putting the heavy burden of meeting your needs on them. Basically you are free to love without unreasonable expectations on either party.

I have found such joy and depth in my relationship with God since He asked me to live life in this manner of preference.

I invite you to go deeper. To relinquish your wants, needs and desires to God and let Him be “The One” to complete you. You seriously won’t be sorry—just free. Free to love and be loved!

A Heart-Style of Thanksgiving

I love the Thanksgiving holiday, one of my favorite traditions is what my family does after the meal. We go around the table and express what and who we are thankful for.

God in his immeasurable goodness takes thanksgiving to the highest level. It’s not about a meal—it’s about thousands of meals. It’s not about gathering yearly, but gathering daily. Especially, it’s not about telling each other and God how thankful we are once a year, just as we’ve finished an abundant meal. No, life lived in relationship with God is about having a thankful heart—daily—in good times and in bad. Essentially, thanksgiving is a heart-style as well as a lifestyle.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 truthfully tells us,

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Have you ever wondered what God’s will is for your life? Here’s your answer—give thanks.

Why does God want us to give thanks for everything? Why is this heart-style His will?

One attribute I adore about God is His infinite wisdom. God knows everything beginning to end. The reason He wants us to live a life of gratitude is because He knows and understands what thankfulness accomplishes in our heart and life.

The biggest revelation to me about living a heart-style of thanksgiving is the fact that thankfulness in hard times causes our heart to stay soft towards God. When we are thankful, there is no room to blame God.

A few years back my family, to put it mildly, experienced somewhat of a car crisis. I prayed for a newer car for quite a while—expecting God, my provider, to hear and answer my prayer. The answer was long in coming—really long in coming.

God showed me that I must thank Him for not having a car. Thank Him for the season—thank Him for His grace in this season—thank Him for being good and faithful, no matter what I’m going through or what my life looks like.

Prior to learning thankfulness in that season, I found myself questioning Him, whining, grumbling and yes, complaining about my car situation. He showed me was my heart attitude was one of blame towards Him, not only blame but one of unbelief. Ouch, this grieved me!

You see thankfulness causes our heart to be tender and trusting—of faith. Instead of irritably wondering what’s going on—when will God come through and worse why and how could He do such a thing, or allow such suffering in my life—which would be unbelief.

A heart-style of thanksgiving releases us in to the abundant life Jesus came to give us. (John 10:10) Gratitude is in essence putting on rose-colored glasses.

A heart-style of thanksgiving causes praise to abound in and through us, changing our perspective on life. It brings Philippians 4:11-12 to life;

…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…

Not only does thanksgiving cause us not to blame God—changing our unbelief to faith, but it releases miracles and brings salvation. Even Jesus Himself gave thanks to God, and every time He did—the miraculous followed. (John 6:11, John11:41, Luke 22:17.19)

The foremost aspect of a heart-style of thanksgiving is the very fact that it brings us into a deeper relationship with God and His Son. In Philippians 4:11-12, Paul says He’s learned the secret of contentment—the secret is not thanksgiving—it’s Jesus. Thanksgiving paves the way to make Jesus what He should be in our lives—the main thing—Lord of all.

Please be encouraged to make thanksgiving your heart-style, therefore causing your heart to overflow with the Love of God—Jesus Himself.

Passion

If someone invited you to a party using these words; “The party will be dull, pretty much boring and very stale—you should come”—would you go? I think not.

How about relationship? What if a young man has interest in a young lady and when asking her to date him uses this line, “I really like you and want to date you, but first you must know—it will be a very dreary and lifeless relationship.” What girl, in her right mind, would date a guy with that personality and perspective?

What would be missing from such a relationship? Passion.

There are a couple of meanings to the word passion—the passion I’m referring to is the zest in life.

The opposite of passion is—mundane, routine, common, boring.

Passion causes people to go beyond normal—in life, relationships, work and play.

All my kids love and play extreme sports. Why play chess for a hobby when you have rock climbing or MMA? Hockey, dirt bike riding, white water rafting, kayaking, snowboarding, skateboarding and skydiving? They are passionate people and could never be satisfied with anything dull or commonplace.

Likewise we should press the limits on our Christianity. Always moving forward—insistent on loving and knowing God more—adamant in service—courageously sharing our faith—undaunted by culture and boldly exhibiting godly character.  We are to be people who go beyond normal in everyday life—faith filled people who represent God—people consumed with passion!

When God created us He set passion inside of us. Just look at the young—who live with child-like wonder, excitement, and enthusiasm about everything they encounter.

Our relationship with God should be one of passion, where we crave His Holy Spirit, and His presence. A relationship packed with zeal and fervor—not mundane—birthed out of obligation.

Matthew 22:37 boldly states what is most important in life,

To love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. (NKJ)

Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence. (MSG)

It takes passion to love God in this manner.

Many things steal passion—heartache, sickness, offense, doubt, disobedience, selfishness and busyness. Mainly the devil—he loves to usurp our passion, along with it he steals our faith. He is master at causing situations to arise where we question and doubt God’s goodness. It’s what he lives for.

Along with passion for God we must have passion for His Word. God’s Word amongst many things, is where we read about the greatest love story ever! Not only that—but in His Word is the secret to living life skillfully.

John 1:1 says,

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

If you love God and are in a relationship with Him—filled with His Spirit, then you also love His Word and are in relationship with it as well. We must diligently guard our passion for the Bible—the sneaky devil is expert at making the Word seem uninteresting and irrelevant.

Last but not least—another area where passion gets evaporated by the enemy is where church is concerned.

Psalm 69:9 says,

Passion for your house has consumed me

We should be passionate for our church—if we belong to God, then church is our house and we should passionately—with all our heart—not just out of duty—love to be there, serve there and be a part of what God is doing in our local church.

The reason the devil loves to steal passion for God’s house is the isolation factor—he isolates the weak and picks them off. He initiates grumbling, offense and disunity—which make church seem routine and pointless. Fact is—passionless church goers weaken the church.

We have to be intentional in protecting our passion. Making sure not to waste our affections on trivial things of this world.

What’s your passion level? Has the enemy seized your passion for God, His Word and His house?

An incredible attribute of God is his loving-kindness. He will never be content with allowing the devil to steal from His people! He has made a way for each of us, by His grace, to take back what the puny devil steals. It will take an act of our strong self-will, but after that it’s a cake-walk.

We must simply use our will, to turn to God—access grace, confess our passionlessness and lean into His great and awesome love. With an open embrace He welcomes us—here we exchange our dryness for a greater thirst.

Please be encouraged to ask God for more passion—and it will be yours!

Cold or Hot

Imagine eating your ice cream not quite cold and your dinner not totally hot. Would you pass on such a meal? Scripture says we need to choose—cold or hot?

Revelation 3:15-16

I know your [record of] works and what you are doing; you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of My mouth!

What’s fascinating is—why didn’t God just say I wish you were hot? Why does He want us to be either cold or hot? The obvious is—with God there is no middle ground, we are either in or out—cold or hot. He doesn’t want anything to do with lukewarm. Why? The answer lays in the following verse; Revelation 3:17,

 You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked.

A lukewarm person does not recognize their need for God. Whereas a Christian who is living in a dedicated, submitted relationship with Him, where Jesus is Lord of their life (hot)—knows they need God—He is their life-line.

A cold person who is far from God can identify the separation between themselves and God and even though they don’t want God—they know they need Him. There is no grey area.

Lukewarm people, according to the scripture don’t realize they are wretched, miserable, poor, blind and naked.

What this means is that the lukewarm go about doing good, Christian stuff—drawing their resources from an empty well of self-sufficiency.

God is so amazing, patient, kind and loving; even though He will spit lukewarmness out of His mouth, He is a God of long-suffering and love—so naturally, true to His character—He provides a solution to lukewarmness. (Gotta love Him!) The lukewarm need only to make Him Lord, following the instructions in Revelation 3:18-19,

So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn [repent] your indifference.

The gold, the garments and the ointment needed to make us rich, cover our shame and correct our blindness are free. On the cross Jesus bought our freedom. One thing to remember is they may be free—but very costly. Likewise, we give our life as an offering of white hot love to God—nothing less will do.

Please be encouraged to go all out (be hot) in your relationship with God.

Skillful Living 101—15 Taming the Tongue

Though the tongue may be small it carries tremendous weight, having the power to bring either life or death. A perpetual topic throughout scripture is on the use of this petite, but very influential member of our body.

Controlling the words that roll off our tongue are of utmost importance to the Lord. One passage of scripture goes so far as to say, that if we cannot control our tongue than our belief is useless.

James 1:26,

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion [faith, belief] is worthless.

This is critical. If we are not cognizant of this fact, we could live our whole life in deceit—gossiping and slandering people under the guise of Christian concern. I do not want to live my life unaware of how important an unbridled tongue is to God!

Truthfully, the use of the tongue is one of those matters that most of us know about and suffer from (in some degree or another) but choose to disregard or let slide as not really a sin. Why? Basically, our flesh loves to gossip—grosser still—it feeds on it. Not to mention the devil’s plan to deceive us with the lie that it’s okay and not really gossip or slander. Worse yet, we can be deceived to the point of not even thinking gossip and slander are sin. Read 2 Timothy 3:2-5, Titus 1:15-16, Psalm 101:5 and I Peter 4:15, to see if it’s a sin or not.

As the beautiful bride of Christ this is an area we constantly have to guard and purposely keep in check.

Another important point to make about the tongue is found in Matthew 12:34,

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

If our words are foul, we need not look any further than our heart for the answer as to why. Our speech is a heart issue. Our heart is to be God’s home, a place where He alone can reside. It’s our wellspring and it needs to be kept pure.

Words that give life come from a blameless heart—such words refresh the soul of those on whom they fall. Let’s make it our passion to keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life.

Proverbs 15 holds many truths about a controlled tongue and a pure heart:

Verse 1—“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Verse 2—“The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”

Verse 4—“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Verse 7—“The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so.”

Verse 14—“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.”

Verse 23—“A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

Verse 26—“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but the words of the pure are pleasant.”

Verse 28—“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”

Living skillfully requires an undefiled heart and a bridled tongue.

So maybe this all sounds great and the Holy Spirit is nudging (convicting) you to guard your heart and tongue, but it seems a hard task. If so, please remember He gives grace to the humble. Simply repent and turn to God asking him for the grace to purify your heart and cleanse your speech. (Read and apply James 4:6-10) God loves it when we come to Him asking for help to be more like Him!

Two, really good scriptures to pray daily are, Psalm 141:3 and Psalm 51:6;

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts [heart], and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Please be encouraged to keep your heart pure and your speech above reproach, you will live skillfully if you do!

Skillful Living Tools:

• The power of death and life are in the tongue, (Proverbs 18:21)
• Controlling our tongue is important to God
• Don’t be deceived—Gossip and slander are sin, (2 Timothy 3:2-5)
• Don’t feed your flesh with Gossip (Galatians 5:16)
• Our speech is a heart issue, (Matthew 12:34)
• Keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life
• A soft answer turns away wrath
• A wholesome tongue is a tree of life
• A perverse tongue breaks the spirit
• The words of the pure are pleasant
• The heart of the righteous studies how to answer

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

True Repentance

A lifestyle of repentance is a vital spiritual discipline for the thriving Christian. Without it, our flesh remains prideful. It is what we do with our sin that makes all the difference. If we hide our sin and defend ourselves, making excuses for our behavior, God cannot help us. Hidden sin has to be exposed—preferably by the one sinning.

Exposed sin needs to lead us to godly sorrow, which opens the door to true repentance. Godly sorrow is the grief we experience when we realize we have sinned against God Himself, this truth is illustrated in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10

For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

The sorrow the world has to offer leads to death because it has nothing to do with true repentance; therefore, no changes are made. Worldly sorrow cheaply spits the words “I’m sorry” out of its mouth, desperately trying to relieve its own conscience. It is all about self, with no real regard for God or those it has hurt and wounded, which is why it leads to death.

Oswald Chambers says it in this manner,

Repentance always brings a person to the point of saying, “I have sinned.” The surest sign that God is at work in his life is when he says that and means it. Anything less is simply sorrow for having made foolish mistakes—a reflex action caused by self-disgust.

True repentance is a lethal weapon to be exercised daily. It births us into a healthy lifelong change. Repentance is not just acknowledging and confessing our sin, but the starting point of turning away from sin, as indicated in Acts 3:19.

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.

Casual Christians treat repentance as if it were the cold ocean where they just tiptoe at the shore. If we seriously want to be healed and live in a deeper relationship with God, than we cannot afford to be casual or to dabble. True repentance has to become our lifestyle.

It has to become our lifestyle because sin happens daily. When we ask Christ to be our savior He wipes away all our past sins. It would be great if at that point we stopped sinning all together, but that’s not the way it is.

There are sins of omission and sins of commission. There are heart attitudes that have to be dealt with daily, as well as issues that we are in the process of overcoming. We never arrive to perfection but are a work in progress.

A lifestyle of repentance is not meant to make us feel like losers, but to assist us in moving forward—in the way of sanctification.

One aspect of true repentance is that it can change our pallet for sin. Sin becomes distasteful when true repentance is taken in and savored—mainly because we recognize how our sin has separated us from God.

Another truth about repentance is that it kills pride in us. Isaiah 57:15 says,

I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.

God dwells with those who are contrite and humble. Pride is a major enemy to a lifestyle of true repentance.

It’s also important to realize that the grace of God is what leads us to repentance and it comes by way of the Holy Spirit’s conviction, as stated in Romans 2:4

Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness [grace] of God leads you to repentance?

When we repent and ask for forgiveness, God takes our sin and remembers it no more, as clearly specified  in Psalm 103:12

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

Please do not keep reminding Him of it, simply shut the mouth of the devil and be led by the Holy Spirit.

In Romans 8:1, Paul writes,

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

If we live in the Spirit and not the flesh there is no condemnation or guilt. One way to know if we are operating in true repentance is to check our condemnation and guilt level. True repentance sets us free with no regret. True repentance also wipes out our sin and lifts our burden, allowing God’s refreshing to come to us. The enemy of our soul will try to convince us we’re not forgiven, set free, healed or delivered. He will attempt to heap shame on us, but we have to remember; if we sincerely repent, turn and operate in Godly sorrow, God forgives us. End of story. Our sins are removed as far as the east is from the west.

Essentially true repentance is priceless—it brings times of refreshing (Acts 3:19) that allow us to draw closer to God—who wouldn’t want that?

Please be encouraged to welcome godly conviction in your life and to live a lifestyle of true repentance. You won’t regret it.

The contents of this blog was taken from my book Thirsty Heart.

No Modifications

I have a love hate relationship with my workout DVD. It’s appropriately named the 30 Day Shred.
I love it because it’s just 20 minutes a day, I hate it because…well I don’t love exercise, not at all! The workout is circuit training, so you indulge in torturing yourself with a well-rounded mix of ab exercises, cardio and weights.

Every time I use it, I think I am going to preach a message using quotes from this DVD. So here it goes…

First, I have to say the reason I dislike exercise, is because it opposes my flesh. My flesh is happy to eat whatever it wants and never do a push up! My health, on the other hand is not!

The whole time I’m working out, my flesh is thinking of reasons why I should stop and never start again! This is where my will comes in. I have to will myself to exercise. Why bother? Because it’s good for me!

This analogy is very similar to our relationship with God. It would be so easy to just love God, accept Him as savior, live however we want and when life is over, see Him in heaven. Well sorry, that’s not the Bible’s interpretation of relationship with Christ or of salvation.

One statement my personal DVD trainer makes is, “You have to push—you do not get results for free!” Basically salvation is free, but costs you everything—kind of like exercise.

The one quote that continually rings in my ears is this, “There are no modifications for a jumping jack” In my world, I can and I do think of many modifications for jumping jacks—there’s the stand in one place and just move your feet…first your right, then your left and so on. Then there’s the one that keeps my cardio going, where I move side to side, one foot behind the other, but never jump off the ground as with a real jumping jack.

Believe me—I can come up with modifications! But isn’t that the way it is with our flesh? Always trying to modify Christianity, or doing what’s right? We need to remind ourselves—there are no modifications!

Next this beautiful, slender women on my DVD says, “So often people think they’re not strong enough, you’re told to just take the stairs, this gives you a false sense of lethargy—you can change!”

Isn’t this true in life as well? Following God wholeheartedly seems too hard, so we make excuses for half-heartedness—this absolutely gives us a false sense of lethargy! We can change, we can make heart, soul and lifestyle changes. By the power of God’s grace—we can follow God wholeheartedly!

The last motivational phrase is about quitting. She says, “I know you want to quit, you feel that knot in the middle of your stomach, that’s fear leaving your body!”

One very real opposition to living sold out for Christ—is fear.

Fear of change, fear of failure—of success—fear of pain.

Following is a quote from my book Thirsty Heart. It’s taken from the chapter, Sexual Healing for the Heart and Soul. In context, I’m talking about how sexual healing frees you to know and love God wholeheartedly. The following is a list of reasons given for not getting free, it was compiled after talking to a person steeped in fear of freedom.

Study the list below. Fear is the common thread. Fear immobilizes and disarms us, paralyzing our faith.

• Fear of the unknown: I know how to live like this and I am afraid to live differently.
• Fear of facing who I really am.
• Fear of facing the root cause.
• Fear of rejection and not being accepted; once people know who I really am they will reject me.
• Fear of pain.
• Fear of pain for others: I’ve caused enough pain to those I love already.
• Fear of the process to get free: Getting free is too time consuming and embarrassing.
• Fear of the cost to get free: What will be lost in the process?
• Fear of truth—Denial: If I ignore it, it will go away.

I love what 2 Timothy 1:7 says,

 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

For a lot of people, change would mean—freedom. Healthy change that draws us near to God is priceless. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith, trusting and knowing that God loves us and He will help us!

The last phrase I want to leave you with is “Time and pressure.”

A planted seed breaks forth into a root bearing plant with time, pressure and the right environment. A piece of coal turns into a diamond with time and pressure.

Sometimes the pressure of life and its circumstances are the best environment for change—could it be that your time to change has come?

Please be encouraged to stand strong, with no modifications to your Christianity.

Text, E-mail or Facebook God?

What’s your routine when it comes to spending time with God? Do you fire off a list of wants and desires? Or do you sit, relate with God, and enjoy a conversation with Him?

Understandably, in today’s culture of texting, e-mailing, facetime and Facebook, relating is foreign. Besides life is busy and taking time to sit and have a conversation with anyone is difficult and very time-consuming, let alone with someone you can’t see—such as God.

About a decade ago, God began to move me in the direction of relating and conversing with Him instead of just asking Him to do something for me.

I’m a very visual person and when God speaks to me I often see (in a vision) what He is trying to say to me. I love this form of communication that we have, because it makes it easier to not forget what He says.

Following are two instances (the writings taken from my book) of when God spoke to me, regarding spending time with Him. These visions are forever burned in my memory and hold a special place in my heart.

When life gets busy or when stress causes me to want to just ask God, instead of relate with Him, I recall these visions and settle into God’s peace. My hope is that they will become the thing you remember and go back to, when you’re tempted to hurry and worry your prayers to God.

When the Lord so graciously gave me these visions I was in a season of getting to know Him as Father, Spouse and Friend. He was moving me out of thinking of Him as this big, ominous Wizard of OZ kind of God.

If you suffer from not being able to relate to God because He seems unreachable and aloof, I challenge you to move into a new direction in your relationship with Him. But remember, anything of remaining value, does not happen overnight. Push through—it’s worth it!

Caution: (for some) God will call your bluff—if you’re just trying to move into relating to Him because you want to ask without guilt—it will take longer. God desires we get close to Him for no other reason than to have a relationship with Him.

The following are excerpts from my book Thirsty Heart.

Taken from the chapter; Entering God’s Rest:

This concept for some may take a paradigm shift in thinking. I remember the first time God brought this concept to my attention. I was in the beginning stages of learning to know Jesus as my Bridegroom. The Holy Spirit would wake me in the middle of the night and I would spend hours just worshiping and loving Him. I began to feel worried and anxious that I wasn’t spending enough time in intercession praying for specific needs. My Bible Study teacher and I were talking about this and her words spoke peace to my heart. She reminded me that it is in the place of intimacy with Jesus that our deepest desires are heard. They are met by God’s heart of love and adoration for us. During this intense period of my life, I would listen to a CD that played songs with the lyrics from the book of Song of Solomon. One of the songs quoted the scripture from Song of Solomon 8:5, “Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?” I was singing this song and pictured myself coming up from the wilderness, completely dependent on Him, leaning on Jesus. As He and I walked over the hills, to the side of us I noticed the cross which was surrounded by a beautiful well-kept flower garden. We walked on and in my concern I asked Him, “How can I spend so much of my prayer time not praying; there are so many needs I should be praying for?”

He asked me if I remembered seeing the cross.
I responded, “Yes.”
“Do you remember the garden surrounding it?”
“Yes.”
“Those flowers are your prayers.”

The flowers were my prayers, but I never planted them. The Lord was telling me He knew my heart. When I spend time with Him, I leave all the concerns of my heart (prayers) at the cross, where He plants and tends to them. He will water, apply the fertilizer, pull the weeds and fend off the insects. I did not have to panic and beg God, but simply hide and rest in Him. The well-watered garden of flowers were my children flourishing at the cross, stretching toward heaven, drinking in the Son, bathing in the light of the resurrection. They were the prayers for my marriage, all my struggles, hopes and dreams, laid down to God in this quiet, secret place. They were God’s to do what He desired with them.

The next quotation is taken from the chapter; The Father Issue:

 One morning while praying, I saw myself outside a beautiful castle where royalty lived. I was among many people, all who were peasants. I was dressed as they were in an old, dirty, torn dress. I was waving a white paper at the King who lived inside. On the paper was a list of demands (prayers) that I wanted the King to answer. I was begging the King to do something for me.
Jesus, the King’s Son came out and took me inside. He gently explained that I was not a peasant. I was royalty—I was family—reminding me it’s about relationship—not answered prayers.
I could walk the halls of the King’s house, hand in hand with Him. Conversing and relating with Him regularly, whenever I had a need all I had to do was turn to Him and simply ask. Then rely on His faithfulness, finding my peace in His trustworthiness, allowing His will to be done—no worrying, no begging, just resting in relationship.

There is nothing wrong with asking God for anything, after all,  everything we have comes from Him. We have to remember God is not a genie who does not require relationship—on the contrary—relationship with God must be our   foundation.

Essentially, just asking God, is void of relationship. Although we live in a non-communicative culture, we do not have to get caught up in it, especially where God is concerned. We cannot text, facetime, e-mail or Facebook God—no, we have to spend actual face to face, heart to heart time in relationship with Him.

I hope this helps you move out of just asking, and into conversing and relating to Him.

Please be encouraged to press this issue in your life—what lays ahead, is relationship with our loving God.

When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.” Psalm 27:8

Describe Yourself

If you had to write a short one liner describing yourself what would you write? What if someone else had to define your character using one short line of words, what do you think it would say?

What would you write about Jesus in one line? What do you think He would write about Himself?

The only description Jesus ever gave of Himself is found in Matthew 11:29.

 I am gentle and lowly in heart                                          

No doubt, Jesus could have said amazing things about Himself. If we are confident people, then I’m sure without hesitation we can reiterate remarkable words about our self.

Why did Jesus describe Himself only once, and why only two expressions—gentle and lowly in heart?

I believe it was because of the “H” Word—humble—He was humble.

There are certain words that cause our flesh to recoil. To humorously ease you into them, I like to call them the “H” Word, the “F” Word or the “S” Word, etc. etc.

The “H” Word—humble or humility
The “F” Word—forgive or forgiveness
The “P” Word—pride
The “S” Word—submit, surrender or suffering
The “R” Word—relinquish or resignation

All joking aside, Jesus chose to describe Himself not with words of grandeur, but with simple yet difficult words that we as followers of Christ, by His grace, need to duplicate within our self.

Let’s look at all of Matthew 11:29

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

One way this scripture can be seen is—Jesus saying;
“Take my yoke”—submit to my ways.
“Learn from me”—listen, I have something to teach you.
“I’m gentle and lowly in heart”—I am humble.
“You will find rest for your soul”—in following these steps you will find a rare attribute to add to your life—peace.

As we submit to His yoke and humbly learn from Him we will be like Him and our heart, mind, will and emotions will be at peace.

In Romans 12:3 Paul says,

I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him.

We need to be honest in our estimation of our self, always measuring ourselves to God and His Word. Confidence is good and needed, but why not be gentle and lowly in heart? Thus, confident in who God is in us.

It’s easy to boast of God and unlike boasting in our self—it’s always true!
Psalm 34:2 “My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad.”

There is a difference in being confidently humble verses humbly confident!

Be encouraged to live a life marked by humility.

Psalm 131 “Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp.Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.  O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—now and always.”

Whose Reflection is That?

I just saw the movie Mirror Mirror, in this interesting film the wicked queen looks in the mirror and recites the familiar words that we’ve all grown up on “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is  the fairest of them all?” When the evil queen looks in, the reflection is quite different from what she truly looks like. In the mirror is a much younger, flawless looking woman.

Can this be true of our self? When we look in, are we deceived? Do we see who we think we are? Or do we see who God says we are? Maybe we even see who the enemy accuses us of being.

I’m hard on myself both naturally and spiritually. When I look in, I see flaws. When I look in the mirror of God’s Word it’s a different story. Not only do I see His faithful, flawless love but I see the changes I need to make in my life. When I look further, I discover the grace I need to make those changes.

Amongst the countless treasures, I have ascertained mercy and forgiveness—confidence and truth—discernment and direction. Most importantly when looking into the mirror of God’s Word, I find genuine relationship.

Below is a post from December about the mirror of God’s Word, it didn’t really have many reads. As I reread it today, my thoughts were “This needs to be re-posted!” It’s a short but powerful message!

I encourage you to read it and pass it on.

Mirror

Looking in the mirror, have you ever seen anything that needs fixing? Disheveled hair or clothing, something in your teeth or nose? Do you just walk away and do nothing to change your appearance?

As we stare into the mirror of God’s Word, the reflection we gaze upon should distinctly resemble Jesus. The Bible is meant to be a place of reflection, where we view and examine ourselves.

James 1:22 says

“Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror;  for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.”

When the mirror of God’s Word is just heard and not heeded, we are that person who looks in and sees what needs to be changed, but walks away unaffected—hearers only, therefore deceived.

The Word is alive and active. Whether we read it, hear it preached or talked about from a friend, the Word must be given the  posture of effectiveness in our life. We cannot just browse God’s Word, looking for the “Bless me” scriptures. No, we must read and heed all of it—being responsible for what we read and know.

As we gaze at His reflection we are to measure our own moral qualities and behavior to His, allowing the power of the Word to mold us into His likeness.

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 communicates this,

“Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. We all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

As we yield to the Word, becoming hearers and doers, our veil is removed—allowing the Spirit of God to bring freedom to our lives.

The benefits of being hearers and doers of the Word are that  in the reflection, we behold the glory of God; and we don’t just behold it, but are transformed by it—changed by His glory into the same image we see in the mirror—His. What an amazing exchange for those who choose to do God’s Word!

Be encouraged to be a hearer and a doer of the Word of God, reflecting and projecting His beauty.

 “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children.” Ephesians 5:1