Not Just for Kids

Have you read the story of Jonah lately? Every time my grandson and I read the Bible together, we read about Jonah—how he didn’t obey God, fled and got swallowed up by a whale. Read Jonah to get the whole story—it’s not just for kids!

Today I read the book of Jonah on my own. What caught my attention was his faith in God.

In Jonah 4:2 he says this about God;

I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness, One who relents from doing harm

Jonah knew the character of God and had faith that He wouldn’t be anything but faithful. Why then did Jonah disobey God and run the other way?

Basically, Jonah did not let his faith in God change him.

He lived a life where He knew all about God but didn’t actually know Him.

I’ve lived this lifestyle and understand how comforting it can be. But the truth is—in living this lifestyle we miss the whole point.

Our faith in God must rearrange our life—transform us—causing us to become who we know God is. It must also draw us near to Him—where we actually know Him and experience what we believe. Knowing God causes personal relationship—relationship leads to obedience—the more we are with Jesus the more we become like Him.

Our goal in life is to live and be like Jesus. Please be encouraged to let your faith in God transform you.

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Skillful Living 101—22 Parenting

Parenting . . . the hardest most complex job on earth. Yet parenting holds the highest value and reward of anything we might possibly do with our life.

Psalm 127:3

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

As a parent I am so grateful to have an instruction manual on child rearing—as I’m sure all parents are.

Unfortunately—most instruction manuals or directions don’t get read until completely necessary. If you’re young—please be encouraged to read the manual now! If you are in the middle of raising children—read the manual now! If your children are young adults—especially read the manual now! If you are a grandparent—read the manual now! It’s never too early or too late!

Being on this end of life where all but one of my kids are grown adults, I sometimes bemoan the fact that there are no “do-overs” when it comes to raising children.

If your kids are grown and your heart is heavy—caught up in regretfully recounting your mistakes—remember there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. Ask for forgiveness—forgive yourself and do God’s best from here on out. God is a faithful redeemer—He redeems our errors and covers our sin.

The first ingredient to parenting is humble, unconditional love. We must by grace and the Holy Spirit’s assistance, love our kids the way God loves us—He never gives up on us. We must always hope and believe in our children. Sometimes love takes on different forms of behavior—this means—tough love is sometimes necessary.

At times I marvel at how complex parenting really is. Parenting is a letting go adventure. These children are born to us, of our own flesh and blood—and we lovingly train them to grow up—leave us—and live their own lives.

Parenting, from the very first hour, demands complete reliance on God. I am so thankful to have an all knowing, all loving, all understanding One to lean on. Prayerfully depending on God is imperative. Since raising children is a lifelong commitment with so many ups, downs and curves—all scripture applies.

One of the things I know—from experience—is we the parents, cannot instruct or impart to our children what we do not ourselves possess. If we want our children to be healthy people of integrity and good character, then we must be as well. There is no room for double-mindedness. Most things are caught rather than taught.

Proverbs—the Book of Skillful Living has crucial advice on parenting—no matter your stage of life.

Let’s look at Proverbs 22 and, with a sincere heart, intentionally live these principles and purpose to teach them to our children and grandchildren.

Verse 1—“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.”

• Taking on the name of Christ—invaluable
• God’s favor—vital

Verse 2—“The rich and the poor have this in common; the Lord is the maker of them all.”

• Identity is found in Christ alone

Verse 4—“By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.”

• Humility and the fear of the Lord are high priorities to God
• The fear of the Lord inherit within a person helps them to love and obey God and parents
• Honoring God aids us in honoring our self and others, as well as authority

Verse 5, 3, 8, 10, 24, 25—“Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; he who guards his soul will be far from them.”

• Guarding your soul from evil is crucial to a successful life

Verse 6—“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

• We can never stop pouring God’s love and Word into our kids. I’ve seen this dynamic take place in the life of my 2^nd son. When he gave up living for himself and surrendered to God—all that had been poured into his heart as a child never departed—God’s Word is timeless, alive and active, it never sleeps but always accomplishes what God sets out to do.
• Love the church and teach kids the same

Verses 11 & 14—“He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend.” “The mouth of an immoral woman is a deep pit; he who is abhorred by the Lord will fall there.”

• A love for purity and grace are never overrated
• Friendship with the King—highly valuable!

Verse15—“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 29:17, Proverbs 13:24

• The Word repeatedly warns—If we love our children we will discipline them
• Loving discipline and correction will create healthy adults
• Warning to fathers: Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Verses 18 & 19—“Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge; for it is a pleasant thing if you keep them within you; let them all be fixed upon your lips, so that your trust may be in the Lord”

• Preserve wisdom, knowledge and trust in your heart
• Teach kids to bind themselves to Godly wisdom

Verse 29 & 13—“Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before unknown men.”

• God seriously does not approve of slothful behavior
• Diligently teach Children diligence
• A good work ethic is priceless

Skillful Living Tools:

• Children are a heritage and reward—enjoy them!
• Children are a huge responsibility—train them in the ways of the Lord
• Read and apply the instruction manual—the Bible
• Pray without ceasing
• Teach kids to prayerfully depend on God
• Teach integrity and Godly moral character
• Do not be double minded
• Teach kids to be single focused—God first
• Love never fails—unconditionally love the kids God gifted to you
• Fathers, do not provoke your children
• Love the church and teach kids the same

Please be encouraged to surrender your parenting to God and His Word—trusting Him for all the answers.

Side Note: God is redeeming the struggling, wayward child—no matter their age. My heart knows the anguish of watching your child self-destruct. My advice to you—keep your heart focused on God. Find peace and rest for your heart, in relationship with Him for He cares for you and can carry your burden, if you will just give it to Him. I am praying for you and your children.

Read and apply all of Proverbs 22 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated) at the top of this page!

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Skillful Living 101—21 Obedience

How many people like the word obedience? Culture—even Christian culture, considers those who are concerned with obedience to be narrow-minded, old fashioned or too religious. Regardless of what we think about obedience—it is a requirement for living skillfully.

Proverbs 21:3 says,

To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

God is pleased with a surrendered, tender and obedient heart, far more than with a heart and life that give service (sacrifice) void of love. This is true in all of life; no matter if we are serving God, family, church or our community—a heart based in the love of God can only pour forth love, righteousness, justice, mercy and grace.

Mark 12:33 tells us that loving God with our whole heart is superior over sacrifice,

And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.

What this means is that God is far more concerned with our heart. He’s not into empty rituals, or just going through the motions. He doesn’t want to give us a list of rules to follow so we can be qualified as His. No, He wants relationship—the kind of relationship where we live in obedience—simply because we love Him. Obedience birthed out of love is what keeps us from the empty rituals of Christianity.

Proverbs—the book of skillful living, gives solid advice on how to live in obedience and avoid living a life filled with empty rituals.

Proverbs 21

Verse 2—“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs and tries the hearts.”

• Commit our way (heart and life) to Lord—obey His directives

Verse 5—“The thoughts of the [steadily] diligent tend only to plenteousness, but everyone who is impatient and hasty hastens only to want.”

• Obedience to diligence pays off

Verse 9 and 19—“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” (Deep wisdom here for us ladies!)

• Our relationship with God needs to be the most important or else everything we do will be an empty ritual
• If Jesus is not enough—women (and men) become unhappy and quarrelsome
• We must let the Lord be our source of love and joy or we will be contentious

Verse 10—“The soul or life of the wicked craves and seeks evil; his neighbor finds no favor in his eyes.”

• A blameless person obeys God’s directive to love his neighbor as himself

Verse 13—“Whoever stops his ears at the cry of the poor will cry out himself and not be heard.”

• Obedience to God regarding a heart for the needy (both physical and spiritual) is imperative for our own answered prayers

Verse 21—“He who follows righteousness and mercy finds life, righteousness, and honor.”

• Obedience to righteous living results in favor

Verse 29—“Unscrupulous people fake it a lot; honest people are sure of their steps.”

• Dishonesty is an empty ritual
• Honesty allows us to be confident

Verse 30—“There is no wisdom or understanding or counsel against the Lord.”

• There is none like Him
• There is no one who can stand against Him and win
• Obedience to God’s authority is essential

Verse 31—“The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance is of the Lord.”

• Obedience to complete reliance on God brings deliverance

Skillful Living Tool Box

• Obedience is a requirement for living skillfully
• Loving God is superior over sacrifice, Mark 12:33
• God is not into empty rituals, 1 Samuel 15:22
• Obedience to diligence pays off
• Our relationship with God needs to be the most important or else everything we do will be an empty ritual
• If Jesus is not enough—we become contentious
• Love your neighbor as your self
• A heart for the needy is imperative for our own answered prayers
• Dishonesty is an empty ritual
• Honesty allows us to be confident
• Obedience to God’s authority is essential
• Complete reliance on God brings deliverance

Please be encouraged to embrace obedience—for no reason other than love.

Do you think all God wants are sacrifices— empty rituals just for show? He wants you to listen to him! Plain listening is the thing, not staging a lavish religious production. Not doing what God tells you is far worse than fooling around in the occult. 1 Samuel 15:22

Read and apply all of Proverbs 21 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated) at the top of this page!

 

Skillful Living 101—19 Integrity

It seems at every turn our integrity is being tested, pushed or pulled in some direction or another. It’s no wonder when the core meaning of integrity is to be complete. The devil, the world and our flesh are in full rebellion against complete, sound, whole people. With this in mind we should wholeheartedly pursue integrity.

Others words for integrity are: upright, morally sound, truthful and honest. I have found the integrity that God desires us to have is best displayed when nobody is looking—it’s integrity of the heart, found in the deepest part of who we are. As we become integrious in our inner person—our outward person will follow.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Something that will help us to live in integrity and holiness is the realization that God knows all the thoughts, intentions and motives of our heart and soul—nothing is hidden from Him. This should motivate us! And remember, God in His faithfulness never asks us to do what He won’t equip us for. God will help us be people of integrity—hence we have the book of Skillful Living—Proverbs—our integrity equipping manual!

Proverbs is inundated with advice on how to be people of integrity. Here we review a handful of verses from chapter 19.

Verse 1—“Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.”

• A person of integrity is wealthier than any rich man

Verse 2— “Desire without knowledge is not good, and to be overhasty is to sin and miss the mark.” (AMP)

• Integrity requires Godly knowledge and wisdom

Verse 3—People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed? MSG

• Acquire integrity and stop blaming God for the mistakes you make

Verse 9—“The person who tells lies gets caught; the person who spreads rumors is ruined.” (MSG)

• The integrious are truthful and do not indulge in gossip

Verse 11—“Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.”

• Integrity will help us restrain from anger
• The integrious do not embrace offence

Verse 13—“A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.”

• Train children to have integrity
• An integrious woman makes a good wife

Verse 16—“He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, but he who is careless of his ways will die.”

• Integrity keeps us mindful of our obedience to God

Verse 17—“Mercy to the needy is a loan to God, and God pays back those loans in full.” (MSG)

• People of integrity are merciful

Verse 22—“What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.”

• The integrious are kind

Verse 26—“He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.”

• People of integrity honor their parents

Verse 27—“Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

• The integrious have an ear to hear God’s voice and the heart to listen

Skillful Living Tools

• Wholeheartedly pursue integrity.
• God desires integrity in our inner person
• God knows the thoughts, intentions and motives of our heart and soul
• A person of integrity is wealthier than any rich man
• Acquire integrity and stop blaming God for the mistakes you make
• Integrity will help us restrain from anger
• Train children to have integrity
• An integrious woman makes a good wife
• People of integrity honor their parents

Please be encouraged to indulge in integrity—we can never have too much!

Read and apply all of Proverbs 19 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated) at the top of this page!

Our Reasonable Service

How do you give the perfect gift to someone who literally has everything? What could we humans—really give to the God who created the universe?

Romans 12:1 says,

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

According to this passage of scripture; in light of what Christ has done for us—given us salvation, unconditional love and endless mercy, grace and blessings—let us respond appropriately. It is our reasonable service to be a living sacrifice. A living sacrifice? Okay—this is a very extreme gift—right?

I once talked to a young man, who considered himself to be a believer, who thought it was. I said “Jesus gave His life for you—died on a cross for you, He wants your heart.” He said “I’ve thought about that, Jesus knew He’d raise from the dead and be in heaven back with His Father, it wasn’t really a huge sacrifice”

Over the years I’ve pondered this mind-set. Essentially it says I don’t owe God anything—especially not to be a living sacrifice.

I think this passage of scripture is one of those that a lot of us just might want to skip. But we can’t take the bless me scriptures and ignore our reasonable service.

What would it look like if Christians actually were living sacrifices?

I’m not saying it is easy to be a living sacrifice, but either was enduring the cross.

Mainly, we need to check our response to this urging assignment from the Word. What is our heart attitude towards God when we know He wants us to live a sacrificial, totally abandoned life-style to Him? This will tell us a lot about our heart.

Our response should stem from our relationship of mutual love with God. Not from duty should we be a living sacrifice, but because of our deep love for Him.

My reasonable service as a wife and mother has to come from my heart of love for my family or else I would burn-out really quick! Why would we painfully bear children, change poopy diapers and endlessly clean, cook and serve unless we love? Why and how does a man work his whole life to provide for his family—if it’s not for love?

It’s no different with God.

Presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice is a form of true worship to God.

Deserting self and all its ambitions—is our first step in reasonable service. Be reminded God will never ask you to do anything He won’t equip you for and the only way you can fail—is to disobey.

Please be encouraged to say yes to God—give Him the gift of wholeheartedly diving into the life-style of being a living sacrifice. In light of the abundant gift of God—it is a very reasonable thing for Him to ask of us.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Grace is a Force

Star Wars anyone?

This current season of digging deeper into God’s grace and its true meaning, is changing not only my everyday life, but my embedded opinions of the power of grace.

For a few weeks now God has been speaking to me about grace being a force. Consider that statement for a moment. Grace is a force.

Force defined as:  Strength, energy, power; intensity, influence and effect.

Until now, I have never thought of grace as a force—but it makes perfect sense. (Remember in a previous blog I said I lived in sloppy grace—using grace as an excuse not to do things I should. See blog titled Grace.)

When I woke the other morning, I had thoughts of Star Wars—weird—because although I like Star Wars and have seen all the movies, multiple times—I’m not a huge enthusiast. But I was pondering Star Wars in light of those who struggle to overcome sin.

I was reminded of grace as a force, and the words “May the force be with you,” came to mind. I began to ponder all that the “Force” does and is for the characters of Star Wars.

I’m putting my disclaimer out there—I do not believe in the force from Star Wars and merely view it as something in a movie—I am not into cult practice or magic! Don’t get all religious on me and not read this because I’m using the force to relate to grace! Relax and just go with it!

The force gives the people in Star Wars supernatural ability. God is supernatural and gives us supernatural abilities. One of these supernatural abilities is grace to overcome—grace to live holy—grace to do the things God asks of us—grace to obey—grace to move forward—grace to love and forgive—grace to find God in impossible situations—grace to heal.

As I’m diving deeper into accessing grace and applying it to daily life, I’m finding that I’m able to do things I did not think I had ability, heart capacity, time or money to do. It’s the simple everyday things—such as getting things done, restored relationship, giving, meeting needs, praying more, living healthy, feeding people and  meeting writing goals. What’s interesting is that God is not increasing my natural resources, but there’s this dynamic taking place where I have the ability to do more and press further. It’s the force of grace working in my life. I do believe it has always been at work, but since I’m seeking more knowledge about grace—I have a new deeper revelation and I’m able to, by faith and the Holy Spirit, step into the fullness of grace.

When we view grace as a force it changes not only our perspective on grace, but or natural abilities.

God’s Word says in 2 Corinthians 12:9,
“My grace is sufficient for you for, My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

In regards to overcoming, this scripture informs us that His grace is what we need—it’s enough. If we feel too weak to overcome—it’s okay—His strength is made perfect in us—in our weakness.

When we are weak and become too scared or apathetic to overcome, is when we most definitely have to lean on grace as a force to help us. We access grace by faith. (Romans 5:2) But what if our faith is weak? This supernatural force will help even when our faith is lacking. Just muster up enough faith to call out to God—by His grace, He will strengthen us and our faith.

In areas where we lack maturity, God’s grace will carry us to maturity.

When I was a new Christian I thought I could linger in an immoral relationship and use the reasoning that God’s grace covers me. Well, it sort of did cover me—but really it carried me to maturity where I found and learned to believe God’s truth about sin.

Another time when I was not so new of a Christian, (that’s an understatement! I had been a Christian for twenty-five years!) Anyways, after following Christ for a quarter-century, God pulled the plug on a very serious issue that I struggled to overcome and foolishly lived with—fear.

That’s right, fear was my biggest road block; it debilitated me spiritually, because its root cause was unbelief—unbelief in God’s trustworthiness. I had been so hurt and disappointed in life—trusting did not come easy, if at all.

The Lord very boldly told me one morning that the grace to live in fear was over.  If I wanted to be in a relationship with Him, I would have to abandon fear and the lifestyle of mistrust I lived in because of it.

At first I was shocked that I had grace to live in fear, but the way God explained grace to me in this situation, is that it carried me to maturity. It was as if grace was the training wheels in my life—not God’s best for me—that’s for sure. Have you ever seen a twenty-five-year-old ride a bike with training wheels? Gross, right? That was a natural picture of my spiritual condition. Obviously, I was not accessing grace as a force during that time in my life. No wonder God in His mercy pulled the plug!

Devastated, I had to overcome fear. This is where grace as a force took over. Remember force defined as:  Strength, energy, power; intensity, influence and effect.

I knew I could not live without God—so I had to relinquish fear as my safety net in life. It was agonizing, no doubt. But the exchange was priceless. I traded fear for faith and trust. I did it by God’s love and grace (a force) moving me—undergirding me to heal and mature and believe in His faithfulness.

Can you see how weak we become when we live in sloppy grace? And when we don’t  use grace as a resource to overcome, but as an excuse to live a half-hearted life

Surely a half-hearted lifestyle cannot be God’s best for us. God’s best is that we overcome—live victorious—live holy—press forward—heal—exchange our weakness for His strength. This comes by knowing God’s grace as a force and believing in His love to change us through and through.

Please be encouraged to find this force, life is too short to settle for good enough—we should live in God’s best! May His force be with you!

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10

Grace

Does the grace you believe in draw you closer to God?

Everything we experience in life should cause us to have a greater dependency on God—drawing us nearer to Him.

There are a few areas in my life where I have been living in sloppy grace. I am at present making an exchange my sloppy grace for His real grace.

Sloppy grace says; “I can’t overcome my flesh or human weakness, but it’s okay because grace covers—so no big deal. Sloppy grace is to be slack-full. The trouble with this mindset is that we don’t move forward. Instead we settle for not being able to overcome, or worse—live in denial that sin even exists.

Being under grace does not mean we give into the weakness of our flesh. No, being under grace is to be justified and to live our lives filled and led by the resurrection power of Christ, which overcomes all weakness.

The travesty with living a sloppy grace lifestyle is that we don’t depend on God (thus draw nearer to Him) for the strength needed to push through and overcome. Why?  Because grace is not seen as a strength and help—but only as justification from sin. Consequently, we miss out on all that grace is and can be in our lives.

God is showing me that real grace says; “I can’t—but by God’s grace I can.”  “I don’t have to be perfect—but I do have to be submitted to God” Then receives the truth, and disciplines self to stop feeding the flesh and to do God’s will. Moving forward, trusting and depending on God for the strength and grace to walk out the hard stuff in life and overcome challenges.

Real grace draws us nearer to God because we realize—He is our life source and strength to overcome (by His grace) any weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Grace is sufficient for us because it not only helps us receive and live in what the cross did for us, but it is God’s divine assistance—we overcome sin by the resources that God’s grace provides us.

If you are living in sloppy grace—please be encouraged to make the exchange—God’s grace is sufficient!

Skillful Living 101—16 Choosing the Right Path

Making decisions and choosing the right paths in life, are daily concerns. If we are not sure how to get God’s direction then we can easily get overwhelmed. The skillful living advice found in Proverbs 16 is a valuable fortune to attain; it holds truth that can help guide us in the right direction, assisting us in avoiding pitfalls that occur when taking the wrong path.

Basically choosing the right paths and or direction in life is a surrender issue.

Verse 9 sums it all up for us,

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

Listen to Proverbs 19:21

You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

There are two ways to go about finding God’s direction—both lead to the same ending.

1. We can make our plans and take our own steps in pursuing those plans.
2. A. We can ask God for His plans and direction. Patiently waiting, relying on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide us.
   B. We can make plans and submit them to God, asking for His will to be done. Relinquishing our desires knowing His will is best. Also patiently waiting, relying on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide us.

No matter which way we go about choosing, or what choice we make—the end result will be the same—God’s purpose for our life will prevail.

I’m half a century old, and believe me I have tried and retried over and over again to make the first way of choosing work—but it never has.

God loves us too much, to allow our plans for our life to supersede His.

This might be frustrating to some people, because they just want to do what they want, but truly God knows the beginning to the end of each situation. He knows how it will start and how it will end and every detail in the middle. He wants the best for us, that’s why He wants us to choose His paths.

Taking our own paths and following our own direction is not only disobedience, but painful. Sometimes after we wake up from a bad choice—be it years, months or days later, we have regret, desiring that we would have listened to God or the good counsel He put in front of us.

I’ll never forget these words; “Careful, that pitfall will cost you two years, oh watch out for that one, it’ll take five years to get out.” They were spoken by an older prophetic gentleman; he was talking about wanting to warn people before they charged through life, not inquiring of God’s direction.

Being a Mom of teens and young adults, I’m constantly reiterating the concept of these scriptures. My kids are visionaries with huge dreams and plans—I love this about them and believe these are God given qualities inherit within them, but that doesn’t mean every idea is God breathed. My advice to them is to submit their plans to God and find out which path He wants them to take. I desire my kids to be discerning of God’s voice and will—this will assist them in not wasting their life getting in and out of pitfalls.

Understandably the desert of some pitfalls are places God allows us to go through, where we can find Him in a new way as we learn life’s lessons, but I don’t necessarily believe they are all God ordained stops in life. We can learn just as much, if not more, by first submitting to the obedience of God’s will. There are huge blessings in seeking, finding and following God’s will.

I had an interesting conversation with a young friend, who told me a story about his relationship with a random girl—now in his life forever. The gist of the story was this; he was reflecting on what he called the ripple effect. He met a girl, knew her only a week or two and had sex with her. He said he didn’t love her, she was not really his type but it had been awhile—so he indulged himself. The relationship, loaded with issues, became one of convenience for both of them—until she got pregnant.

The ripple effect started first by living a casual lifestyle of ignoring God, second by fulfilling the lust of the flesh and having sex outside of marriage. Then pregnancy, it continued with an unwanted dysfunctional relationship, sharing a child, who will no doubt reap the consequences. He sadly said “One bad choice has caused a lifelong ripple in my life.”

Opening one door of self-will, can lead to many other doors that inevitably open more doors— leading to hardship, heartache and wasted time.

Proverbs 16 gives generous advice on this concept, it would significantly benefit us and those we influence, to listen and follow its guidance.

Verse 1—“Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.” (MSG)
Verse 2—“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirits (the thoughts and intents of the heart).” (AMP)
Verse 3—“Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” (NLT)
Verse 5—“The Lord detests the proud; they will surely be punished.” (NLT)
Verse 7—“When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (NKJ)
Verse 9—“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (NLT)
Verse 16—“How much better it is to get skillful and godly Wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.” (AMP)
Verse 17—“The road of right living bypasses evil; watch your step and save your life.” (MSG)
Verse 18—“First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” (MSG)
Verse 20—“It pays to take life seriously; things work out when you trust in God.” (MSG)
Verse 25—“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (NKJ)
Verse 33—“Make your motions and cast your votes, but God has the final say.” (MSG)

The heart breaking ripple effect can be avoided by tucking our self into relationship with God, where we hear His voice, know His will and delight in obedience.

Skillful Living Tools

• A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps
  
• You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail
• Choosing the right paths and or direction in life is a surrender issue
• Submit plans, ideas and dreams to God, asking for His will to be done
• Patiently wait on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide you
• Remember the ripple effect: choices have consequences
• The road of right living bypasses evil
• Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed
• Pride comes before a fall
• God always has the final say

Please be encouraged—skillful living comes by patiently submitting our plans to God before we proceed.

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Free but Costly

If someone were to go to a free community event, would that person be free to act however they want at that event? Say they wanted to hit and offend everyone they came in contact with, could they? It’s a free event—are they free to do as they please? What if they wanted to drink alcohol and get totally drunk and act foolishly, could they? Would it be permissible for them to freely have sex at this event? Or would there be a conduct code?

What about freedom in Christ? It’s free. Can the saved person act however they want?

What does free in Christ mean? Are we free to do as we please, is that what it means?

If it’s free then why is it so costly?

Freedom is free—meaning you can’t buy or earn your way in. But freedom does have a cost. America’s freedom has cost many lives.

A Christian’s freedom is free, but it cost Jesus His life.

The freedom we have in Christ means we are free from death, sin, hell and the world—free from the devil and all his evil. We love this part and rightly so, but where things get tangled up is the world component.

We are to be in but not of the world, okay so where do we free Christians draw our line? We obviously have to live in the world and no doubt it is one of our biggest adversaries.

Now think of this as the free community event, can a person do whatever they want? The answer is no. Just because it’s free it does not mean you can freely do whatever you desire or feel like. It’s the same with Christianity; just because it’s free we are not free to do as we please.

The freedom we have in Christ translates to this—free to love and obey—we are free from the devils hold on us and we are free to love and obey God and His word.

Our freedom costs us our life as we knew it before we accepted Christ as savior. Christ bought us a relationship of intimacy with God the Father, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit—intimacy that comes by way of freely submitting (James 4:7-8).

Sadly a lot of people have a hard time with this. Until I realized that my freedom was about relationship I did too. When we are not aware of the relationship factor, then it’s easy to get caught up in wanting to do whatever we want, not caring if we grieve God, using the grace clause as our excuse. The reason being—it’s all about us and our happiness—not realizing genuine happiness is the joy that’s found in relationship with God.

Christianity is not about going to church, ministry, being good, evangelism or any other reason. These are all necessary biblical elements but they are not why we become Christians—no, we become followers of Christ because of love. He first loved us—showing us how to love Him and others.

This amazing love cannot be attained outside of a relationship with God and relationship with God will cost you your life.

It makes sense. Think about it—how can we accept the free gift and draw near to God outside of holiness? What relationship does light have with dark? None. Sin separates light from dark.

Galatians 2:20 says,

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Essentially freedom bought our ability to crucify the old worldly person/life, so Christ, the light of the world, could live in us.

Listen to Romans 6:12-14 from The Message,

That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don’t give it the time of day. Don’t even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you’ve been raised from the dead!—into God’s way of doing things. Sin can’t tell you how to live. After all, you’re not living under that old tyranny any longer. You’re living in the freedom of God.

The freedom of God gives grace—grace leads to obedience—obedience leads to righteousness—we are instructed in Romans 6:13 to be instruments of righteousness.

Take note of what Paul says in Romans 6:15-16 about grace.

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?

We are free to love God—free to obey—free to lay our life down as a living sacrifice—free to be in the world and not of it—His grace makes way for it.

Please be encouraged in knowing that your freedom was bought with precious blood, shed to draw you near to God Himself.

Following is Romans 6:15-23 from The Message. It’s very lengthy but so good!

So, since we’re out from under the old tyranny, does that mean we can live any old way we want? Since we’re free in the freedom of God, can we do anything that comes to mind? Hardly. You know well enough from your own experience that there are some acts of so-called freedom that destroy freedom. Offer yourselves to sin, for instance, and it’s your last free act. But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you’ve let sin tell you what to do. But thank God you’ve started listening to a new master, one whose commands set you free to live openly in his freedom! I’m using this freedom language because it’s easy to picture. You can readily recall, can’t you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing—not caring about others, not caring about God—the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God’s freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness? As long as you did what you felt like doing, ignoring God, you didn’t have to bother with right thinking or right living, or right anything for that matter. But do you call that a free life? What did you get out of it? Nothing you’re proud of now. Where did it get you? A dead end. But now that you’ve found you don’t have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God’s gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.

Skillful Living 101—15 Taming the Tongue

Though the tongue may be small it carries tremendous weight, having the power to bring either life or death. A perpetual topic throughout scripture is on the use of this petite, but very influential member of our body.

Controlling the words that roll off our tongue are of utmost importance to the Lord. One passage of scripture goes so far as to say, that if we cannot control our tongue than our belief is useless.

James 1:26,

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion [faith, belief] is worthless.

This is critical. If we are not cognizant of this fact, we could live our whole life in deceit—gossiping and slandering people under the guise of Christian concern. I do not want to live my life unaware of how important an unbridled tongue is to God!

Truthfully, the use of the tongue is one of those matters that most of us know about and suffer from (in some degree or another) but choose to disregard or let slide as not really a sin. Why? Basically, our flesh loves to gossip—grosser still—it feeds on it. Not to mention the devil’s plan to deceive us with the lie that it’s okay and not really gossip or slander. Worse yet, we can be deceived to the point of not even thinking gossip and slander are sin. Read 2 Timothy 3:2-5, Titus 1:15-16, Psalm 101:5 and I Peter 4:15, to see if it’s a sin or not.

As the beautiful bride of Christ this is an area we constantly have to guard and purposely keep in check.

Another important point to make about the tongue is found in Matthew 12:34,

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

If our words are foul, we need not look any further than our heart for the answer as to why. Our speech is a heart issue. Our heart is to be God’s home, a place where He alone can reside. It’s our wellspring and it needs to be kept pure.

Words that give life come from a blameless heart—such words refresh the soul of those on whom they fall. Let’s make it our passion to keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life.

Proverbs 15 holds many truths about a controlled tongue and a pure heart:

Verse 1—“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Verse 2—“The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”

Verse 4—“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Verse 7—“The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so.”

Verse 14—“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.”

Verse 23—“A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

Verse 26—“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but the words of the pure are pleasant.”

Verse 28—“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”

Living skillfully requires an undefiled heart and a bridled tongue.

So maybe this all sounds great and the Holy Spirit is nudging (convicting) you to guard your heart and tongue, but it seems a hard task. If so, please remember He gives grace to the humble. Simply repent and turn to God asking him for the grace to purify your heart and cleanse your speech. (Read and apply James 4:6-10) God loves it when we come to Him asking for help to be more like Him!

Two, really good scriptures to pray daily are, Psalm 141:3 and Psalm 51:6;

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts [heart], and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Please be encouraged to keep your heart pure and your speech above reproach, you will live skillfully if you do!

Skillful Living Tools:

• The power of death and life are in the tongue, (Proverbs 18:21)
• Controlling our tongue is important to God
• Don’t be deceived—Gossip and slander are sin, (2 Timothy 3:2-5)
• Don’t feed your flesh with Gossip (Galatians 5:16)
• Our speech is a heart issue, (Matthew 12:34)
• Keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life
• A soft answer turns away wrath
• A wholesome tongue is a tree of life
• A perverse tongue breaks the spirit
• The words of the pure are pleasant
• The heart of the righteous studies how to answer

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!