What Qualifies Us for Parenthood?

I’ve been pondering the art of motherhood, and really struggled to put words together that would bless and encourage Moms (and Dads) this Mothers/Fathers Day season.

Why the struggle? Well, if you know me at all, then you know I don’t like to sugar coat, and I tend to way over think things. So my brutally honest and over thought out approach to life didn’t seem to be a good way to write about parenthood on Mothers Day. (I know Mother’s Day has passed, I’ve been trying to write this blog for a week now!). Nonetheless I feel urged by the Lord, to write about the subject.

I don’t feel urged to write about parenthood because I’m an expert, just the opposite.

My 33 years of experience have mainly taught me that I don’t know much about parenting.

I’m sure this sounds strange. But truthfully I only really know two things about parenting. Can you see why I was conflicted in writing about this subject?

On Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest we only see the pretty part of parenting. Where people look like experts, with no real struggles.

The real issues of parenthood press us to the point where we realize we are not qualified for this role in life. Because truthfully we don’t know what the H (heck) we are doing!

If I were to put a Mom resume together, I could list a thousand amazing things and still not be qualified.

So what qualifies us?

Jesus.

Jesus is our resume.

The number one thing I know about parenting is this:  I am the most qualified, the most accomplished Mom when I realize how much I need Jesus—when I trust my kids to the work of grace—to the work of the cross.

In situations involving our children, my husband and I can talk, fret and discuss the issue for hours, and we always reach the same conclusion. And this is the second thing I know—that Jesus is enough.

Yes, all my years of parenting humbly bring me to the truth of these two conclusions.

1. Jesus, not my skills or knowledge qualifies me, and you, to be an excellent parent.

2. Jesus fills in every gap, His love, faithfulness, mercy and grace are enough for every parenting situation.

Please be encouraged to give yourself a break—life is messy. We are all in process. It’s not about getting through life perfectly. It’s about relationship with Jesus—living in His grace and love. He does not expect perfection just submission. And when we realize only He can qualify us—the pressure is off—we find rest and freedom.

Following are a portion of lyrics from a song I love, titled Touch the Sky, by Hillsong United.

     My heart beating,
my soul breathing.
     I found my life when
I laid it down.
Upward falling,
spirit soaring.
I touch the sky when
my knees hit the ground.

Treasure these truths…

1. We find life and it’s answers for parenting, and any other situation, as we lay everything down.

2. In Jesus there are no mistakes, His grace causes us to only fall upward.

3. We reach our highest when we bow our lowest.

Link to the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1RQciil7B0&sns=em

Here are some pics of my wonderful Mothers Day. We had a rooftop party, with good conversation, great food prepared by my kids and we might even of Danced! This is us on a good day. My kids are no where near perfect, but they are all masterpieces.

  My daughter beautifully set up the rooftop of her downtown Meridian apartment

 The cooks

 The gangs almost all here, my oldest son and his family didn’t make it    So cute

  The Boys explored

Most of the Forests are fearless

I got to dance with my sons and my husband  My baby!

  Baby Robin held by auntie Maddie, talking to uncle Trent

  The newlyweds

  Me and my love

  Robin and her Mama Kaila

 Five of my seven kids!

Thanks for reading!

Change of Season

When the beautiful leaves of fall begin to flood the ground—my heart twinges—it’ll soon be winter. Of all the season changes this one causes me—the born and raised southern California girl, to have to mentally prepare.

My heart and life are experiencing an even vaster season change. Just the term used to describe it sounds wrong. Empty nest.

Truly, it’s not the fact that the kids grew up that aches my heart—it’s the rending—the separation—the change of season it self.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m over being sad, excited for the next season and I am gladly letting go of last season, ready to move forward—I just didn’t realize the ache would be so deep.

Two weeks ago today we packed up our youngest child and moved him to California, where he will begin fulfilling his God designed destiny. Before we left I went into his room to make sure nothing was forgotten—just the sight of the emptiness brought tears. I said oh God—I’m in trouble—it’s not even 6 AM on the first day of the trip and I’m crying! Ten minutes later with tears in his eyes my husband asks if I’ll be okay—more tears—this only lasted a few hours—thankfully our son was in a different car than us!

The day before the trip I sat at mid-day, amongst the chaos of preparations, in my chair needing my Father to hold me. In His faithfulness and this is the gist of what I want to share with you, He showed me that my heart is securely in His hand and He is massaging it. He knows the ache, He understands the season change and He’s put my heart in his tender care.

How faithful is God that He would accept the gift of our heart and take charge of it? I’m so grateful to be in a relationship with the One who knows and understands the smallest to the largest of heartache. He knew this time would come—this ache—and He knew just what to do.

This was an anticipated season change—every parent knows its coming, at times we even long for it. We prepare our children for adulthood—we teach them to walk, talk, feed themselves, use the potty,  get dressed on their own, read and write, take chances, speak out, be who God created them to be—that’s what we do as parents—every step of the way teaching them to be independent of us. By the grace of God we teach them to be excellent, strong, mature, loving, kindhearted, God filled—world changers.

Why then are we so taken off guard when those taught excellence, walk in excellence?

Because we have dared to love.

Dared to take God’s charge of carrying, giving birth to, training and finally releasing—yet again into God’s loving hands.

Letting go—always letting go—such is life.

The night before we said goodbye we were at his new church where he will start an internship, I looked over at my man-child—so handsome and so grown. He was worshiping the Lord—just as I taught him to do—giving God his all. As I wiped my tears the Lord softly said “He also is in my Hand.”

Everyone—everything—every season—always in His faithful hand.

Life—but a vapor is always bursting with season changes—no need to fear, be encouraged in knowing—your heart is being held by the heartbeat of heaven Himself.

Isaiah 43:13 Indeed before the day was, I am He And there is no one who can deliver out of My hand, I work, and who will reverse it?”

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

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Character Matters

A solid foundation for life is established by our character. Ponder that a moment. If you really think about it—many of life’s issues are weighed and measured by our character—it determines the paths we take and the choices we make. Consequently, it also determines the choices and opinions of other people in regard to us and our life.

Character defined as:  A combination of traits and qualities distinguishing the individual nature of a person or thing. Distinguishing quality and characteristic; moral force, ethical quality and integrity of a person.

Excellent character sustains the blessings in our life. I have this concept I call the “sieve theory.” It unfolds as this—God in His goodness continually pours blessings on us—His children. If our character is weak then our ability to possess, preserve and sustain these blessing is inept. A character of poor quality resembles a sieve. Unfortunately, questionable character rots the bottom out of our life and sadly, blessings fall straight through.

How many times has God blessed us with a relationship, a job, money or an opportunity where unstable character ruined all our probabilities?

The sieve theory has operated in my life more times than I choose to count or remember!

A great way to excel in good character is to notice the word nature in the definition of the word character. The definition says “A combination of traits and qualities distinguishing the individual nature of a person.” Our nature is who we are fundamentally—at our core. Have you ever heard someone say “That’s just the way I am” this statement is in reference to the nature of a person.

One of the things I love about knowing God is the exchange He has made available to us at the cross. Exchanging our nature with Jesus’ nature is one of the first and most ongoing actions we as disciples of Christ partake in.

No matter who we are, where we come from or what we have been through—our nature does not have to stay the same. We have the amazing privilege to shed off our old nature and take on the nature of Christ. This is the essence of true Christianity—you have got to love this—how fortunate we are!

Having a house full of young adults is very interesting—we are at the stage where some are interested in finding a spouse. When it comes to my children finding a spouse, I never thought it would be such a huge process! But being on this end—where I’m a concerned parent whose been married for 31 years—knowing the intricate workings of marriage—and the sieve theory—it’s a big deal! Why? Because what we want from our kids before they marry is excellent and solid character. And the character we are looking for in a mate is nothing less than blameless and unwavering.

Fortunately, God has set my heart at ease. He’s done this by showing me that the most important character trait that we are expecting in our children and in a mate for them—is not necessarily a virtue—but what we are looking for is—how much they know and love God.

For a heart truly relinquished and sold out to God, His will and His purposes, will possess all the godly and moral character traits one could ever ask for. A person with this conviction will continually exchange their nature for God’s nature.

Thank God—all the world’s problems are solved—all we have to do is be Christ Like!

Please be encouraged to know and love God with all your heart and soul, in doing so you can’t help but to throw off your old sinful nature and take on the character of Christ.

Ephesians 4:21-23

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.  Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

1 Peter 1:3-8

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.  And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.