Character Matters

A solid foundation for life is established by our character. Ponder that a moment. If you really think about it—many of life’s issues are weighed and measured by our character—it determines the paths we take and the choices we make. Consequently, it also determines the choices and opinions of other people in regard to us and our life.

Character defined as:  A combination of traits and qualities distinguishing the individual nature of a person or thing. Distinguishing quality and characteristic; moral force, ethical quality and integrity of a person.

Excellent character sustains the blessings in our life. I have this concept I call the “sieve theory.” It unfolds as this—God in His goodness continually pours blessings on us—His children. If our character is weak then our ability to possess, preserve and sustain these blessing is inept. A character of poor quality resembles a sieve. Unfortunately, questionable character rots the bottom out of our life and sadly, blessings fall straight through.

How many times has God blessed us with a relationship, a job, money or an opportunity where unstable character ruined all our probabilities?

The sieve theory has operated in my life more times than I choose to count or remember!

A great way to excel in good character is to notice the word nature in the definition of the word character. The definition says “A combination of traits and qualities distinguishing the individual nature of a person.” Our nature is who we are fundamentally—at our core. Have you ever heard someone say “That’s just the way I am” this statement is in reference to the nature of a person.

One of the things I love about knowing God is the exchange He has made available to us at the cross. Exchanging our nature with Jesus’ nature is one of the first and most ongoing actions we as disciples of Christ partake in.

No matter who we are, where we come from or what we have been through—our nature does not have to stay the same. We have the amazing privilege to shed off our old nature and take on the nature of Christ. This is the essence of true Christianity—you have got to love this—how fortunate we are!

Having a house full of young adults is very interesting—we are at the stage where some are interested in finding a spouse. When it comes to my children finding a spouse, I never thought it would be such a huge process! But being on this end—where I’m a concerned parent whose been married for 31 years—knowing the intricate workings of marriage—and the sieve theory—it’s a big deal! Why? Because what we want from our kids before they marry is excellent and solid character. And the character we are looking for in a mate is nothing less than blameless and unwavering.

Fortunately, God has set my heart at ease. He’s done this by showing me that the most important character trait that we are expecting in our children and in a mate for them—is not necessarily a virtue—but what we are looking for is—how much they know and love God.

For a heart truly relinquished and sold out to God, His will and His purposes, will possess all the godly and moral character traits one could ever ask for. A person with this conviction will continually exchange their nature for God’s nature.

Thank God—all the world’s problems are solved—all we have to do is be Christ Like!

Please be encouraged to know and love God with all your heart and soul, in doing so you can’t help but to throw off your old sinful nature and take on the character of Christ.

Ephesians 4:21-23

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.  Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

1 Peter 1:3-8

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.  And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Skillful Living 101—19 Integrity

It seems at every turn our integrity is being tested, pushed or pulled in some direction or another. It’s no wonder when the core meaning of integrity is to be complete. The devil, the world and our flesh are in full rebellion against complete, sound, whole people. With this in mind we should wholeheartedly pursue integrity.

Others words for integrity are: upright, morally sound, truthful and honest. I have found the integrity that God desires us to have is best displayed when nobody is looking—it’s integrity of the heart, found in the deepest part of who we are. As we become integrious in our inner person—our outward person will follow.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Something that will help us to live in integrity and holiness is the realization that God knows all the thoughts, intentions and motives of our heart and soul—nothing is hidden from Him. This should motivate us! And remember, God in His faithfulness never asks us to do what He won’t equip us for. God will help us be people of integrity—hence we have the book of Skillful Living—Proverbs—our integrity equipping manual!

Proverbs is inundated with advice on how to be people of integrity. Here we review a handful of verses from chapter 19.

Verse 1—“Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.”

• A person of integrity is wealthier than any rich man

Verse 2— “Desire without knowledge is not good, and to be overhasty is to sin and miss the mark.” (AMP)

• Integrity requires Godly knowledge and wisdom

Verse 3—People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed? MSG

• Acquire integrity and stop blaming God for the mistakes you make

Verse 9—“The person who tells lies gets caught; the person who spreads rumors is ruined.” (MSG)

• The integrious are truthful and do not indulge in gossip

Verse 11—“Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.”

• Integrity will help us restrain from anger
• The integrious do not embrace offence

Verse 13—“A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.”

• Train children to have integrity
• An integrious woman makes a good wife

Verse 16—“He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, but he who is careless of his ways will die.”

• Integrity keeps us mindful of our obedience to God

Verse 17—“Mercy to the needy is a loan to God, and God pays back those loans in full.” (MSG)

• People of integrity are merciful

Verse 22—“What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.”

• The integrious are kind

Verse 26—“He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.”

• People of integrity honor their parents

Verse 27—“Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

• The integrious have an ear to hear God’s voice and the heart to listen

Skillful Living Tools

• Wholeheartedly pursue integrity.
• God desires integrity in our inner person
• God knows the thoughts, intentions and motives of our heart and soul
• A person of integrity is wealthier than any rich man
• Acquire integrity and stop blaming God for the mistakes you make
• Integrity will help us restrain from anger
• Train children to have integrity
• An integrious woman makes a good wife
• People of integrity honor their parents

Please be encouraged to indulge in integrity—we can never have too much!

Read and apply all of Proverbs 19 and please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated) at the top of this page!

Our Reasonable Service

How do you give the perfect gift to someone who literally has everything? What could we humans—really give to the God who created the universe?

Romans 12:1 says,

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

According to this passage of scripture; in light of what Christ has done for us—given us salvation, unconditional love and endless mercy, grace and blessings—let us respond appropriately. It is our reasonable service to be a living sacrifice. A living sacrifice? Okay—this is a very extreme gift—right?

I once talked to a young man, who considered himself to be a believer, who thought it was. I said “Jesus gave His life for you—died on a cross for you, He wants your heart.” He said “I’ve thought about that, Jesus knew He’d raise from the dead and be in heaven back with His Father, it wasn’t really a huge sacrifice”

Over the years I’ve pondered this mind-set. Essentially it says I don’t owe God anything—especially not to be a living sacrifice.

I think this passage of scripture is one of those that a lot of us just might want to skip. But we can’t take the bless me scriptures and ignore our reasonable service.

What would it look like if Christians actually were living sacrifices?

I’m not saying it is easy to be a living sacrifice, but either was enduring the cross.

Mainly, we need to check our response to this urging assignment from the Word. What is our heart attitude towards God when we know He wants us to live a sacrificial, totally abandoned life-style to Him? This will tell us a lot about our heart.

Our response should stem from our relationship of mutual love with God. Not from duty should we be a living sacrifice, but because of our deep love for Him.

My reasonable service as a wife and mother has to come from my heart of love for my family or else I would burn-out really quick! Why would we painfully bear children, change poopy diapers and endlessly clean, cook and serve unless we love? Why and how does a man work his whole life to provide for his family—if it’s not for love?

It’s no different with God.

Presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice is a form of true worship to God.

Deserting self and all its ambitions—is our first step in reasonable service. Be reminded God will never ask you to do anything He won’t equip you for and the only way you can fail—is to disobey.

Please be encouraged to say yes to God—give Him the gift of wholeheartedly diving into the life-style of being a living sacrifice. In light of the abundant gift of God—it is a very reasonable thing for Him to ask of us.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Obnoxious People

Have you ever been in a situation where your surrounded by obnoxious people?

This past weekend I found myself in that exact predicament. My husband and I, along with our son and a family friend went camping. Our camp neighbors were rude and showed no consideration for camping neighbor etiquette.

I do not want to list all their behavior, but to help you get the picture I’ll list just a few. Keep in mind, these were kind friendly people.

They had a dog not on a leash, a nice dog that played fetch in the river and walked through our campsite, dripping wet, each time he got out of the river, by the way they always threw the ball in the river right in front of our campsite. They played a noisy ring toss game, talking, drinking and laughing as they did, well past midnight. Also, on their way to the bathroom they walked right through our campsite.

You get the picture right? OK, so it was bothersome and maybe if we would have talked to them about it, it would have helped. Not sure. But when I woke up on the second morning to their loud talking, God spoke to me about being offended by their conduct. Yes it was wrong, but how would He handle it and how should I handle it?

The bottom line of what God was saying to me was, “What’s more important your cozy vacation or people?” This was obviously how they operated and it would have been offensive to them for us to point out their faults. I’m sure it would have put ought between us.

And what if God wanted to use us to tell them about Him? Could we of been successful after confronting them about their rude behavior? Or would we of come off as religious Bible thumpers?

The scripture the Lord took me to was Jeremiah 12:5

If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, then how can you contend with horses?
And if in the land of peace, in which you trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the flood plain of the Jordan?

This verse is familiar; (I’ve used it in a blog before titled Small Stuff-Big Distractions) God uses it to remind me not to sweat the small things in life.

And basically what God calls the small things are not exactly what I would call the small things! He keeps reminding me that He’s interested in people’s salvation, not my comfort.

Again the last line of the verse says “And if in the land of peace, in which you trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the floodplain of the Jordan?” Essentially He’s saying, if you’re having a hard time getting along in times of peace, then how will you act in times of war?

Was their rudeness irritating? Yes, but I slept twenty-five feet away from their tents, in peace knowing that they were not going to kill us.

What I’m trying to convey is we as Christians need to pivot our mind-set and realize it’s not about us. And every situation can be an opportunity to share Christ. Who knows maybe if I had not been so irritated by my camping neighbors maybe I could of struck up a conversation with them that lead to sharing about God?

Be encouraged to not sweat the small stuff, there are so many more important issues in life!

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Ephesians 5:15-17

Longsuffering

All of God’s attributes are basically jaw droppers and worthy of our praise, but the one I feel compelled to mention in this blog is longsuffering.

Longsuffering is not really a word that we use very much these days and might better be known in today’s culture as patience.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us a very graphic narrative of love. When reading this portion of scripture, keep in mind that God is love; therefore each expression used in depicting love—is an attribute of God.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

(It’s tempting to get distracted and write about love, but I’ll save that for another day!)

God is described as being longsuffering. He is very willing and patient to wait on us to love Him wholeheartedly. He provides volumes of opportunity for our heart to completely fall in love with Him.

Why? Why would God who created the whole universe, not just demand that we love Him?

The truth is, He gave us free will. We are free to love or not love God and we are free to love Him halfheartedly.

God didn’t want to create robots, programed to love Him. He wants people made of flesh and blood—created in His image—to choose to love Him.

When we think of patience we think of waiting, but genuine patience is not exactly about waiting—it’s put to the test in the way one waits.

The Lord is not impatient; He does not wait intolerantly for His creation to get their heart aligned with His. No, instead He offers favor, grace and mercy, that we may see and experience His love.

God is also extremely longsuffering with those that don’t or won’t make Him their Lord. I’ve watched Him over and over again extend His unconditional love to those who disregard Him.

Why is He so longsuffering with people who could care less about Him or His love? The answer is—salvation. He is not willing for anyone to spend eternity in hell—He gives countless opportunities for life change and repentance.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

He’s longsuffering because of love. He desires to spend eternity with all His children.

I’m most longsuffering with my children. Why? Because I love and believe in them, I know them, I’ve seen their heart from the very beginning. I know their value and potential—I believe in God’s plan for them. I am not willing to just write my kids off when they portray immaturity or stupidity.

I’m by no means saying I’m as patient as God! I’m just trying to paint a picture for you of how loving, tender and longsuffering God is with His Children—with you and me.

As any good parent He does require obedience, but truly—obedience is birthed out of love—if we love God we will obey Him. (John 14:15) If we love Him we will surrender our whole heart and life to Him.

Let’s take this a step further—God calls us to be longsuffering. To suffer long with those He loves—to patiently see them to wholeheartedness in God and to salvation.

In order to do this we must disregard our own feelings and time frame. I’m preaching to the choir here. When people disregard my God, or trample my love and efforts to help them, my flesh wants to write them off and say “Oh well, I tried but it wasn’t received.” I want to protect myself from their rejection. This is where I push past the struggle and align my heart to God’s.

We have to realize it is not about us or about our comfort, but about God’s purposes and eternity. We must believe in God’s plan and purpose for people. We need to see God’s children as we see our own children and extend grace and mercy just as we do to our own.

I want to be a person of longsuffering (and not just with my own kids). What about you? In what ways can you be more longsuffering?

How do we become longsuffering? Patience and love are a fruit of the Spirit—to have this kind of fruit in our life we must continually be filled with the Spirit of God.

Please be encouraged to be more like Jesus and  love with longsuffering just as He loves you!

No Modifications

I have a love hate relationship with my workout DVD. It’s appropriately named the 30 Day Shred.
I love it because it’s just 20 minutes a day, I hate it because…well I don’t love exercise, not at all! The workout is circuit training, so you indulge in torturing yourself with a well-rounded mix of ab exercises, cardio and weights.

Every time I use it, I think I am going to preach a message using quotes from this DVD. So here it goes…

First, I have to say the reason I dislike exercise, is because it opposes my flesh. My flesh is happy to eat whatever it wants and never do a push up! My health, on the other hand is not!

The whole time I’m working out, my flesh is thinking of reasons why I should stop and never start again! This is where my will comes in. I have to will myself to exercise. Why bother? Because it’s good for me!

This analogy is very similar to our relationship with God. It would be so easy to just love God, accept Him as savior, live however we want and when life is over, see Him in heaven. Well sorry, that’s not the Bible’s interpretation of relationship with Christ or of salvation.

One statement my personal DVD trainer makes is, “You have to push—you do not get results for free!” Basically salvation is free, but costs you everything—kind of like exercise.

The one quote that continually rings in my ears is this, “There are no modifications for a jumping jack” In my world, I can and I do think of many modifications for jumping jacks—there’s the stand in one place and just move your feet…first your right, then your left and so on. Then there’s the one that keeps my cardio going, where I move side to side, one foot behind the other, but never jump off the ground as with a real jumping jack.

Believe me—I can come up with modifications! But isn’t that the way it is with our flesh? Always trying to modify Christianity, or doing what’s right? We need to remind ourselves—there are no modifications!

Next this beautiful, slender women on my DVD says, “So often people think they’re not strong enough, you’re told to just take the stairs, this gives you a false sense of lethargy—you can change!”

Isn’t this true in life as well? Following God wholeheartedly seems too hard, so we make excuses for half-heartedness—this absolutely gives us a false sense of lethargy! We can change, we can make heart, soul and lifestyle changes. By the power of God’s grace—we can follow God wholeheartedly!

The last motivational phrase is about quitting. She says, “I know you want to quit, you feel that knot in the middle of your stomach, that’s fear leaving your body!”

One very real opposition to living sold out for Christ—is fear.

Fear of change, fear of failure—of success—fear of pain.

Following is a quote from my book Thirsty Heart. It’s taken from the chapter, Sexual Healing for the Heart and Soul. In context, I’m talking about how sexual healing frees you to know and love God wholeheartedly. The following is a list of reasons given for not getting free, it was compiled after talking to a person steeped in fear of freedom.

Study the list below. Fear is the common thread. Fear immobilizes and disarms us, paralyzing our faith.

• Fear of the unknown: I know how to live like this and I am afraid to live differently.
• Fear of facing who I really am.
• Fear of facing the root cause.
• Fear of rejection and not being accepted; once people know who I really am they will reject me.
• Fear of pain.
• Fear of pain for others: I’ve caused enough pain to those I love already.
• Fear of the process to get free: Getting free is too time consuming and embarrassing.
• Fear of the cost to get free: What will be lost in the process?
• Fear of truth—Denial: If I ignore it, it will go away.

I love what 2 Timothy 1:7 says,

 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

For a lot of people, change would mean—freedom. Healthy change that draws us near to God is priceless. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith, trusting and knowing that God loves us and He will help us!

The last phrase I want to leave you with is “Time and pressure.”

A planted seed breaks forth into a root bearing plant with time, pressure and the right environment. A piece of coal turns into a diamond with time and pressure.

Sometimes the pressure of life and its circumstances are the best environment for change—could it be that your time to change has come?

Please be encouraged to stand strong, with no modifications to your Christianity.