The Truth About Relinquishment

If ever there was a word or concept that can set a person on edge its relinquishment! Living a life of relinquishment, is not necessarily, a popular subject. Nonetheless, God calls us to surrender to it.

Following is a combination of three blogs written last year which elaborate on the art of living a relinquished lifestyle. Beginning with a quote from: My Utmost for His Highest (a collection of writings taken from messages preached in the 1800’s, by Oswald Chambers.) Enjoy!

The Relinquished Life by Oswald Chambers

“I am crucified with Christ.” Galatians 2:20

“No one is ever united with Jesus Christ until he is willing to relinquish not sin only, but his whole way of looking at things. To be born from above of the Spirit of God means that we must let go before we lay hold, and in the first stages it is the relinquishing of all pretence. What Our Lord wants us to present to Him is not goodness, nor honesty, nor endeavour, but real solid sin; that is all He can take from us. And what does He give in exchange for our sin? Real solid righteousness. But we must relinquish all pretence of being any thing, all claim of being worthy of God’s consideration.

Then the Spirit of God will show us what further there is to relinquish. There will have to be the relinquishing of my claim to my right to myself in every phase. Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

There is always a sharp painful disillusionment to go through before we do relinquish. When a man really sees himself as the Lord sees him, it is not the abominable sins of the flesh that shock him, but the awful nature of the pride of his own heart against Jesus Christ. When he sees himself in the light of the Lord, the shame and the horror and the desperate conviction come home.

If you are up against the question of relinquishing, go through the crisis, relinquish all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you.”

The Power of Relinquishment

Have you ever held on to something for dear life? Afraid to let it go, dreading your worst fears would come to life? Holding on so tight for fear you won’t get want you really want or think you deserve?

Not letting something go, does not necessarily guarantee you won’t get hurt or that you’ll get what you want. Truthfully, faith in God should override the “holding on” mentality or lifestyle.

One of the stumbling blocks to having true faith in God is that we no longer can be in control. This is where relinquishment makes an entrance.

The dictionary definition of relinquishment: to renounce or surrender a possession or right. To give up; put aside or desist from: to relinquish a plan. To let go; release: to relinquish one’s hold.

Relinquishment is so powerful because it is an absolute act of faith. It is how we let God know we explicitly trust Him. Faith may seem complex, but in its simplest form genuine faith basically means to actively trust God. To relinquish the reigns of our life and let God be in charge.

The first step in relinquishment is to surrender our own self-will: what we want, what we will do, what we think and feel. God gives us self-will and He will not override it. Self-will has to be handed over—let go of—relinquished to God, it really is the only thing He can’t change in us unless it is given over to Him.

The power of relinquishment is fluid in our life through humble faith. Jesus had to relinquish His self-will to the Father. If precious Jesus exchanged His will for God’s will, then why would we entertain ideas that our self-will is something we are master over?

John 5:30 says this about Jesus’ self-will,

“I do not seek or consult My own will (I have no desire to do what is pleasing to Myself, My own aim, My own purpose) but only the will and pleasure of the Father Who sent Me.”

Self-will can be problematic and persuasive, if not surrendered, that’s why God wants it. Not because He is this huge task Master, wanting all the control for His own benefit, but because He loves us—is jealous for us. God knows our life from beginning to end and He is the only One who can ultimately give us what’s best.

Relinquishing is a trust issue. Do we trust God enough to let go of our heart and life—of our self-will and let God have His way in our life?

I once felt very powerless to pray for people in my life who suffer from un-relinquished self will issues. I asked the Lord, how do I pray for my loved ones who clearly live their life in throws of selfish self-will? He told me, only love can break an obstinate self-will. I now pray that the sledge hammer of God’s love would crush stubborn self will in the lives of those I love. That they would get a revelation of the depth of God’s love for them.

God’s love changes everything. If we know that we know, that He loves us then relinquishing will not be a problem.

I love the way Oswald Chambers, says to deal with the difficulty of relinquishment. It’s worth repeating!

“If you are up against the question of relinquishing, go through the crisis, relinquish all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you.”

Be encouraged to go through the crisis of relinquishing your will—the God of infinite wisdom loves you and wants to make an exchange with you—your will—for His. In the exchange, the power of relinquishment will be released in your life.

The Prayer of Relinquishment

Letting go is rarely easy or desirable. However life is made up of numerous “letting go” sessions. I use the word sessions because the act of letting go usually requires more than just a simple release. The release typically comes at the end of a wrestling session.

Similarly, the prayer of relinquishment can be likened to a wrestling match. A match of the will, God’s will vs. our will.

Sometimes when we pray and ask God for something, we will give Him all the reasons why He should answer our prayer in the manner we want Him to. This is a sort of genie mentality. I rub the lamp and He gives me my heart’s desire—no questions asked. Prayer should be birthed out of relationship with God; if it’s not then we are in genie status.

As stated earlier, surrendering self-will is the first step in relinquishment. Self-will has to be exchanged; our will for God’s will. Surrendering requires trust, therefore relinquishing kicks us out of genie status and moves us into relationship status with God. Ultimately God desires that we know Him personally, and not just know about Him. He is interested in our heart—in its devotion to Him. He uses life situations to turn a divided heart to Him. If relinquishment is a trust issue, then guaranteed when the subject of relinquishment arises, the true colors of our heart’s devotion to Him will emerge.

Once again grasp the truth of Galatians 2:20,

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

At the cross we relinquish our rights—exchange our will, just as Jesus did. The words “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live” translate to “my life is no longer identified as mine—I give up my rights.” That’s the premise to the Christian life and to living in relationship status; the promise is “Christ lives in me.” Remember we can’t have the promise without the premise.

This brings us to the wrestling match, otherwise known as the prayer of relinquishment.

The foundation for the prayer of relinquishment is trust and love. We give up our hold, no matter the reason for our prayer. This is where the wrestling takes place, we wrestle to give up what we want or what we think is best. Human reasoning grapples with our faith in God and His Word. Then we relinquish.

Why relinquish? Because we understand and know God will answer our prayer from His all-knowing, all-loving stance of wisdom and care for us. Principally we trust Him to do His best for us.

Another very crucial point to the prayer of relinquishment is—do we want the answer to the prayer more than we want God? If so then we are in danger of idolatry.

The essence of the relinquishment prayer, must be we want God more than anything else. If it’s healing we are praying for, do we want the healing more than we want God? If it’s a wayward child, is our desire for our child more than our desire for God? If it’s for a broken heart, do want to be pain free more than go through the process of finding God for our relief? If it’s for financial breakthrough, relationships, peace or a myriad of other reasons—what is our real heart’s desire? God? Or whatever will make us feel whole? The truth is, God is the only one who can complete us, so we must start there. If we don’t, even when the prayer is answered, we will be left wanting.

I have heard of bed ridden people praying for healing, years upon years, that finally relinquish. Changing their prayer to, “God I want you more than I want healing and I’m tired of the wrestle” Healing came after they gave up their will. In essence getting their way was held in higher esteem than God.

A huge component to the prayer of relinquishment is when we relinquish our will to God, we settle with the truth of His sovereignty and live in peace, allowing the outcome of our circumstance to be well with our soul.

Please be encouraged to learn the lifestyle and prayer of relinquishment. In doing so you will move into deeper relationship with God; where love, peace and rest will be your portion!

Jesus IS Enough

To live a lifestyle where Jesus is enough, we have to walk submitted to His will in regard to all things both big and small. We also have to purpose as the Psalmist did, in Psalm 33:22 and 62:5 to put all our hope and expectation in Him alone:

 Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone.  Psalm 33:22

My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. Psalm 62:5

When God started to require me to live in the manner where He is all I need, He introduced the concept of Jesus being enough through my best friend Cathy. Over and over again I would ask her to explain what it means for Jesus to be enough.

Has God ever asked you to do something that you feel totally unqualified for? For me it seems this way quite often, especially during difficulties and suffering. In these times, I find myself saying to the Lord, “I can’t do it… but You can.” This is the essence of Jesus being enough. It’s where we come up short, knowing He will make up the difference and equip us for whatever He asks us to do or walk through.

To better understand the concept of Jesus being enough, visualize a rough wood surface covered with divots, grooves and holes. Now imagine a large putty knife or trowel smoothing spackle over the rough surface. This results in all the unsightly blemishes and empty holes being filled in and smoothed out. In this same manner, Jesus fills us in where we are lacking.

This concept was hard to grasp, mainly because at the time, I was still living primarily in my soul. The “Me” factor did not like the idea of losing its independence and having to become solely dependent on God. My soul found it hard to trust Jesus alone, mainly because I wanted to be in charge of my life and its direction.

For months on end Jesus would ask me, “Am I enough?” My response was “yes” but inside emptiness gnawed at me. The questions continually came: “If I never did another thing for you, am I enough? If your life never got any better than this, am I enough? If you lost everything dear to you, would I be enough?” Again my response was, “Well of course, Lord.” I struggled with letting Him be enough, but I did not want to admit it. I thought that if I committed to letting Him alone fill me then I would not get what I wanted. Finally, I answered Him truthfully, “No Lord, I’m sorry, You are not enough, but I want You to be.” This pivotal moment of truth set my journey for more depth and passion with God into further motion.

A lot of Christians do not even know that Jesus is not enough for them. The reason—we get so busy living and filling our lives with temporal treasures. I personally have found myself in pursuit of the American dream many times. If our primary concerns for ourselves are to acquire money, possessions, self-gratification, praise, status and the like, then we can be sure these things, not Jesus, complete us. Therefore, it would be fair to say Jesus is not enough. Jesus is asking us if He alone is enough, or if we need our health and all our temporal treasures to be complete.

One more way to know if Jesus is enough is to examine your actions when a storm hits or when you’re simply confronted by a rough day. What do you reach for? The phone to call a friend? The internet? Sleep? Pain relievers or antidepressants? Comfort food? Do you escape and watch TV or a movie? Or maybe you just default to your soul and you emotionally act out of stress, taking it out on everyone in your path with a nasty, bad attitude like I used to do. My comfort was also found in sleeping. When life got tough I would close my door, shut my life out and take a nap. This was one way I could avoid the truth. Other times I would look for consolation by calling a friend or escaping with a good love story chick flick.

Now that I am living in the reality of Jesus being enough, I follow a simple self-discipline guideline—I do not allow myself to call a friend unless I first call on Jesus. It’s the same with the movie—no escapism. I first have to check out the greatest love story of all…the Bible! The best news is, I rarely ever feel like shutting life out with a nap anymore. Instead, I shut myself into Jesus as my only comfort.

Jesus is enough where relationships are concerned

If relationships are let go into the hands of God and if we can turn to God as the one who fills us—not people—then we are free.

1. We are free from the emotional roller coaster that some relationships bring.

2. We can let go of all our unhealthy expectations of people.

3. Most important, we are free to just love people without choking the life out of them while trying to extract from them what we need to make us feel complete.

God longs to complete us, He wants to be enough for us where relationships are concerned. Sometimes the people we love just don’t have it in them to meet our needs—nor should they. Only God should have that role in our lives. If we let Jesus be enough then we can have healthier, freer relationships that are not all bound up by human expectations.

God has shown me that as I let Him be my everything, even in relationships, I am free to love without expecting anything in return. My love then is based out of purity and truth instead of manipulation

In the past, I tried so hard to make the people that I love, love me like I thought they should. That is reasonable when it comes to your spouse and parents because there are certain responsibilities that come with these relationships. But not everyone is whole enough to love as they should. This was true for my family. Rejection, betrayal and abandonment brought so much sorrow and pain that I would not have been able to function properly if God had not used this concept to help me love, honor and respect as the Bible requires me to.

In one of the most pressing times in my life I wanted to give up on my marriage. I knew it was not God’s plan that I give up and in a very dark season God turned to me and asked me some serious questions. “If your marriage never got any better, would you still love Me? Could I be enough for you? Could I be your husband? Would you allow Me to love you where he can’t? Could you love your husband for Me? Could you lay down your life as a bridge to him? Could you bridge his path to Me with your life and allow Me to be enough for you?”

I never could have done any of this without first giving my life up to Jesus and clinging to Him. Yes, it was agonizing and painful but by the grace of God I chose to let Jesus be enough for me.

I encourage you to be found in Him alone and to let Him fill in all the blanks in your life. Jesus undoubtedly is enough

Our Reasonable Service

How do you give the perfect gift to someone who literally has everything? What could we humans—really give to the God who created the universe?

Romans 12:1 says,

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

According to this passage of scripture; in light of what Christ has done for us—given us salvation, unconditional love and endless mercy, grace and blessings—let us respond appropriately. It is our reasonable service to be a living sacrifice. A living sacrifice? Okay—this is a very extreme gift—right?

I once talked to a young man, who considered himself to be a believer, who thought it was. I said “Jesus gave His life for you—died on a cross for you, He wants your heart.” He said “I’ve thought about that, Jesus knew He’d raise from the dead and be in heaven back with His Father, it wasn’t really a huge sacrifice”

Over the years I’ve pondered this mind-set. Essentially it says I don’t owe God anything—especially not to be a living sacrifice.

I think this passage of scripture is one of those that a lot of us just might want to skip. But we can’t take the bless me scriptures and ignore our reasonable service.

What would it look like if Christians actually were living sacrifices?

I’m not saying it is easy to be a living sacrifice, but either was enduring the cross.

Mainly, we need to check our response to this urging assignment from the Word. What is our heart attitude towards God when we know He wants us to live a sacrificial, totally abandoned life-style to Him? This will tell us a lot about our heart.

Our response should stem from our relationship of mutual love with God. Not from duty should we be a living sacrifice, but because of our deep love for Him.

My reasonable service as a wife and mother has to come from my heart of love for my family or else I would burn-out really quick! Why would we painfully bear children, change poopy diapers and endlessly clean, cook and serve unless we love? Why and how does a man work his whole life to provide for his family—if it’s not for love?

It’s no different with God.

Presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice is a form of true worship to God.

Deserting self and all its ambitions—is our first step in reasonable service. Be reminded God will never ask you to do anything He won’t equip you for and the only way you can fail—is to disobey.

Please be encouraged to say yes to God—give Him the gift of wholeheartedly diving into the life-style of being a living sacrifice. In light of the abundant gift of God—it is a very reasonable thing for Him to ask of us.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

God Decides How Much We Can Handle

Do you ever get the idea that God believes in you—more than you believe in yourself? Regularly, right? Well for me, it seems I have this revelation quite often.

The first time I caught a glimpse of this truth—was at age 24. I was in the middle of heartbreak—dealing with marriage issues, when my brother tragically died. I went to my Pastor and talked to Him about my heartaches. I vividly remember telling him I couldn’t handle one more hard thing in life. I asked Him about a scripture I thought I had heard that said God would not give us more than we could handle.

“But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

My pastor and I talked about the scripture and prayed. I recall leaving his office feeling a little lighter—everything was going to be okay—God was not going to give me any more than I could handle.

What I didn’t realize was that I’m not the one who decides how much I can handle—God is.

Within a couple of months after my conversation with my pastor—my two year old daughter suddenly died.

Wow—God knew I could endure way more than I ever thought.

I have come to the realization that God has faith in me. Not just a little faith either, He has an abundant amount of faith in me—and you.

God believes I can do the impossible—sometimes I try to tell Him that I can’t do the things He’s asking or expecting from me, but He doesn’t listen and just keeps believing. Continually allowing me to face life circumstances that I would—in and of myself—cower from.

I say “God—I can’t.” He says “I know you can’t—in your own strength—but in Me—you can.” Then I say, “How” He says, “Abide in Me and let Me be your strength.”  “Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you” “Hide under the shadow of My wing, make Me your dwelling place”  “Don’t look to the left or to the right just set your focus on Me”

Sounds easy enough, but the reality is—its not easy at all. But I do have to admit it has gotten easier over the years. It’s not easy because of one small component—self-will. Once we learn to relinquish our self-will, trusting God becomes a lot easier. Once I stopped being lord over my own life—it all changed.

I’m working whole heartedly on consuming and living this truth—that if GOD be for me, NO ONE could be against me.

If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31

That’s such a bold statement! No one—can be against me or you!  Not death? Cancer? Jail? Heartache? Sickness? The world? Bad guys? My past? Nay-sayers? Betrayal? Lies? No one? NO ONE!

If God has faith in us and says we can do, or face the impossible—then guess what?  We can do and face the impossible. Our strength comes from Him—as we draw near to Him, abiding under the shadow of His wing, keeping strict focus on Him—we can do the impossible—even overcome our own self-will.

Please be encouraged knowing that when—not if—God asks the impossible of you—the only way you can fail is to disobey.

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

“For the Lord God will help Me; therefore I will not be disgraced; therefore I have set My face like a flint,
and I know that I will not be ashamed. Isaiah 50:7

Is God Narcissistic?

Have you ever wondered why God wants us to praise, glorify and worship Him? Love Him, seek and obey Him? Could it be that He is narcissistic and vain? One who barley knows Him might think so.

The truth is, God is secure in His position of creator and Lord of all. He does not need puny humans to worship Him so He can feel secure. He’s not on a power trip, rallying people to Himself so He looks all powerful and good. No, He actually is all powerful and good; in fact He’s the essence of good and the author of power.

All knowing God understands what will transpire in our heart and life when we exalt Him. He doesn’t want us to give Him all our adoration because it will benefit Him—just the opposite—it will benefit us!

God the Father, is a good parent, always looking out for and preferring His kids, making sure the best happens for them. This is why He wants us to live our life in complete surrender to Him and His ways, where His perfect will can be done in our lives. Essentially He knows what’s best and wants to bless us.

We were made to praise, worship and glorify—it’s woven into our being. We will worship something; be it sports, entertainers, food, self, or beauty. Why not worship someone who really deserves it. God is worthy to be praised, worshipped and glorified, after all He is pretty awesome and He did create the entire universe!

There are countless benefits to worshipping God, I’ll mention just one—it causes us to look up and take our eyes off ourselves, creating an atmosphere where we can draw near to God. In the nearness of God our lives are transformed and we are truly blessed. We are defined by what we worship, being defined by God sounds rather wonderful, doesn’t it?

There was a time (a very long time) in my life where I lived a shallow existence, thinking everything was all about me. During that extremely extended period of self-indulgence, I had the thought that God was selfish and egotistical. It made me mad that He wanted everything. And the one thing that He did give me control over—my will—He wanted me to give that to Him as well. I was upset that He’s a jealous God—jealously wanting all my love and affection.

After I finally admitted my issues to Him, which He already knew and loved me still, He began to help me shift my point of view so I could see the greatness of His love and just how preferring and patient is His character.

Listen to the description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, keep in mind; God is love.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

According to this passage of scripture God is completely selfless, so there’s no way He could be narcissistic. His unselfish love sent His Son to the cross, making a path for you and I to live—really live—free from the devil’s schemes and plans for our life. Creating a way for us to have eternal life. This love frees us from fear and chaos, filling us with peace, truth and hope.

It turns out the reason God wanted my will was because He knew how self-destructive my will actually is, He wanted to save me from my own self-indulgence.

He’s jealous, not in the same manner that we humans get jealous—in His jealousy He’s selfless. It’s more about watching out for us. His love is expressed in His jealousy—He’s jealous for our heart that it not be given over to sin, pride, hatred, anger, un-forgiveness and fear, He loves us too much to let those cancers shape our life. He would rather we tuck our heart into His presence where it can be nurtured and grow in a flawless environment.

Please be encouraged to examine your heart towards God. I’m praying that you will tuck your heart into His presence, knowing Him deeper still.

Skillful Living 101—16 Choosing the Right Path

Making decisions and choosing the right paths in life, are daily concerns. If we are not sure how to get God’s direction then we can easily get overwhelmed. The skillful living advice found in Proverbs 16 is a valuable fortune to attain; it holds truth that can help guide us in the right direction, assisting us in avoiding pitfalls that occur when taking the wrong path.

Basically choosing the right paths and or direction in life is a surrender issue.

Verse 9 sums it all up for us,

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

Listen to Proverbs 19:21

You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

There are two ways to go about finding God’s direction—both lead to the same ending.

1. We can make our plans and take our own steps in pursuing those plans.
2. A. We can ask God for His plans and direction. Patiently waiting, relying on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide us.
   B. We can make plans and submit them to God, asking for His will to be done. Relinquishing our desires knowing His will is best. Also patiently waiting, relying on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide us.

No matter which way we go about choosing, or what choice we make—the end result will be the same—God’s purpose for our life will prevail.

I’m half a century old, and believe me I have tried and retried over and over again to make the first way of choosing work—but it never has.

God loves us too much, to allow our plans for our life to supersede His.

This might be frustrating to some people, because they just want to do what they want, but truly God knows the beginning to the end of each situation. He knows how it will start and how it will end and every detail in the middle. He wants the best for us, that’s why He wants us to choose His paths.

Taking our own paths and following our own direction is not only disobedience, but painful. Sometimes after we wake up from a bad choice—be it years, months or days later, we have regret, desiring that we would have listened to God or the good counsel He put in front of us.

I’ll never forget these words; “Careful, that pitfall will cost you two years, oh watch out for that one, it’ll take five years to get out.” They were spoken by an older prophetic gentleman; he was talking about wanting to warn people before they charged through life, not inquiring of God’s direction.

Being a Mom of teens and young adults, I’m constantly reiterating the concept of these scriptures. My kids are visionaries with huge dreams and plans—I love this about them and believe these are God given qualities inherit within them, but that doesn’t mean every idea is God breathed. My advice to them is to submit their plans to God and find out which path He wants them to take. I desire my kids to be discerning of God’s voice and will—this will assist them in not wasting their life getting in and out of pitfalls.

Understandably the desert of some pitfalls are places God allows us to go through, where we can find Him in a new way as we learn life’s lessons, but I don’t necessarily believe they are all God ordained stops in life. We can learn just as much, if not more, by first submitting to the obedience of God’s will. There are huge blessings in seeking, finding and following God’s will.

I had an interesting conversation with a young friend, who told me a story about his relationship with a random girl—now in his life forever. The gist of the story was this; he was reflecting on what he called the ripple effect. He met a girl, knew her only a week or two and had sex with her. He said he didn’t love her, she was not really his type but it had been awhile—so he indulged himself. The relationship, loaded with issues, became one of convenience for both of them—until she got pregnant.

The ripple effect started first by living a casual lifestyle of ignoring God, second by fulfilling the lust of the flesh and having sex outside of marriage. Then pregnancy, it continued with an unwanted dysfunctional relationship, sharing a child, who will no doubt reap the consequences. He sadly said “One bad choice has caused a lifelong ripple in my life.”

Opening one door of self-will, can lead to many other doors that inevitably open more doors— leading to hardship, heartache and wasted time.

Proverbs 16 gives generous advice on this concept, it would significantly benefit us and those we influence, to listen and follow its guidance.

Verse 1—“Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.” (MSG)
Verse 2—“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirits (the thoughts and intents of the heart).” (AMP)
Verse 3—“Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” (NLT)
Verse 5—“The Lord detests the proud; they will surely be punished.” (NLT)
Verse 7—“When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (NKJ)
Verse 9—“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (NLT)
Verse 16—“How much better it is to get skillful and godly Wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.” (AMP)
Verse 17—“The road of right living bypasses evil; watch your step and save your life.” (MSG)
Verse 18—“First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” (MSG)
Verse 20—“It pays to take life seriously; things work out when you trust in God.” (MSG)
Verse 25—“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (NKJ)
Verse 33—“Make your motions and cast your votes, but God has the final say.” (MSG)

The heart breaking ripple effect can be avoided by tucking our self into relationship with God, where we hear His voice, know His will and delight in obedience.

Skillful Living Tools

• A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps
  
• You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail
• Choosing the right paths and or direction in life is a surrender issue
• Submit plans, ideas and dreams to God, asking for His will to be done
• Patiently wait on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to guide you
• Remember the ripple effect: choices have consequences
• The road of right living bypasses evil
• Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed
• Pride comes before a fall
• God always has the final say

Please be encouraged—skillful living comes by patiently submitting our plans to God before we proceed.

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Skillful Living 101—15 Taming the Tongue

Though the tongue may be small it carries tremendous weight, having the power to bring either life or death. A perpetual topic throughout scripture is on the use of this petite, but very influential member of our body.

Controlling the words that roll off our tongue are of utmost importance to the Lord. One passage of scripture goes so far as to say, that if we cannot control our tongue than our belief is useless.

James 1:26,

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion [faith, belief] is worthless.

This is critical. If we are not cognizant of this fact, we could live our whole life in deceit—gossiping and slandering people under the guise of Christian concern. I do not want to live my life unaware of how important an unbridled tongue is to God!

Truthfully, the use of the tongue is one of those matters that most of us know about and suffer from (in some degree or another) but choose to disregard or let slide as not really a sin. Why? Basically, our flesh loves to gossip—grosser still—it feeds on it. Not to mention the devil’s plan to deceive us with the lie that it’s okay and not really gossip or slander. Worse yet, we can be deceived to the point of not even thinking gossip and slander are sin. Read 2 Timothy 3:2-5, Titus 1:15-16, Psalm 101:5 and I Peter 4:15, to see if it’s a sin or not.

As the beautiful bride of Christ this is an area we constantly have to guard and purposely keep in check.

Another important point to make about the tongue is found in Matthew 12:34,

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

If our words are foul, we need not look any further than our heart for the answer as to why. Our speech is a heart issue. Our heart is to be God’s home, a place where He alone can reside. It’s our wellspring and it needs to be kept pure.

Words that give life come from a blameless heart—such words refresh the soul of those on whom they fall. Let’s make it our passion to keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life.

Proverbs 15 holds many truths about a controlled tongue and a pure heart:

Verse 1—“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Verse 2—“The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”

Verse 4—“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Verse 7—“The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so.”

Verse 14—“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.”

Verse 23—“A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

Verse 26—“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but the words of the pure are pleasant.”

Verse 28—“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”

Living skillfully requires an undefiled heart and a bridled tongue.

So maybe this all sounds great and the Holy Spirit is nudging (convicting) you to guard your heart and tongue, but it seems a hard task. If so, please remember He gives grace to the humble. Simply repent and turn to God asking him for the grace to purify your heart and cleanse your speech. (Read and apply James 4:6-10) God loves it when we come to Him asking for help to be more like Him!

Two, really good scriptures to pray daily are, Psalm 141:3 and Psalm 51:6;

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts [heart], and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Please be encouraged to keep your heart pure and your speech above reproach, you will live skillfully if you do!

Skillful Living Tools:

• The power of death and life are in the tongue, (Proverbs 18:21)
• Controlling our tongue is important to God
• Don’t be deceived—Gossip and slander are sin, (2 Timothy 3:2-5)
• Don’t feed your flesh with Gossip (Galatians 5:16)
• Our speech is a heart issue, (Matthew 12:34)
• Keep a pure heart that overflows with words of life
• A soft answer turns away wrath
• A wholesome tongue is a tree of life
• A perverse tongue breaks the spirit
• The words of the pure are pleasant
• The heart of the righteous studies how to answer

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

Longsuffering

All of God’s attributes are basically jaw droppers and worthy of our praise, but the one I feel compelled to mention in this blog is longsuffering.

Longsuffering is not really a word that we use very much these days and might better be known in today’s culture as patience.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us a very graphic narrative of love. When reading this portion of scripture, keep in mind that God is love; therefore each expression used in depicting love—is an attribute of God.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

(It’s tempting to get distracted and write about love, but I’ll save that for another day!)

God is described as being longsuffering. He is very willing and patient to wait on us to love Him wholeheartedly. He provides volumes of opportunity for our heart to completely fall in love with Him.

Why? Why would God who created the whole universe, not just demand that we love Him?

The truth is, He gave us free will. We are free to love or not love God and we are free to love Him halfheartedly.

God didn’t want to create robots, programed to love Him. He wants people made of flesh and blood—created in His image—to choose to love Him.

When we think of patience we think of waiting, but genuine patience is not exactly about waiting—it’s put to the test in the way one waits.

The Lord is not impatient; He does not wait intolerantly for His creation to get their heart aligned with His. No, instead He offers favor, grace and mercy, that we may see and experience His love.

God is also extremely longsuffering with those that don’t or won’t make Him their Lord. I’ve watched Him over and over again extend His unconditional love to those who disregard Him.

Why is He so longsuffering with people who could care less about Him or His love? The answer is—salvation. He is not willing for anyone to spend eternity in hell—He gives countless opportunities for life change and repentance.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

He’s longsuffering because of love. He desires to spend eternity with all His children.

I’m most longsuffering with my children. Why? Because I love and believe in them, I know them, I’ve seen their heart from the very beginning. I know their value and potential—I believe in God’s plan for them. I am not willing to just write my kids off when they portray immaturity or stupidity.

I’m by no means saying I’m as patient as God! I’m just trying to paint a picture for you of how loving, tender and longsuffering God is with His Children—with you and me.

As any good parent He does require obedience, but truly—obedience is birthed out of love—if we love God we will obey Him. (John 14:15) If we love Him we will surrender our whole heart and life to Him.

Let’s take this a step further—God calls us to be longsuffering. To suffer long with those He loves—to patiently see them to wholeheartedness in God and to salvation.

In order to do this we must disregard our own feelings and time frame. I’m preaching to the choir here. When people disregard my God, or trample my love and efforts to help them, my flesh wants to write them off and say “Oh well, I tried but it wasn’t received.” I want to protect myself from their rejection. This is where I push past the struggle and align my heart to God’s.

We have to realize it is not about us or about our comfort, but about God’s purposes and eternity. We must believe in God’s plan and purpose for people. We need to see God’s children as we see our own children and extend grace and mercy just as we do to our own.

I want to be a person of longsuffering (and not just with my own kids). What about you? In what ways can you be more longsuffering?

How do we become longsuffering? Patience and love are a fruit of the Spirit—to have this kind of fruit in our life we must continually be filled with the Spirit of God.

Please be encouraged to be more like Jesus and  love with longsuffering just as He loves you!

Skillful Living 101—14 Upright

If you’ve read the Bible for any length of time, you’ve no doubt come across the word upright. A huge component to living skillfully, is to ascertain uprightness. I know it can seem as an out dated expression or concept, but truthfully, living uprightly is key to relationship with God and to blessings.

The attributes of the upright are: Integrity, blameless, prudent, virtue, honor, morality, truth, reliability, decency, discrete, honest and righteousness.

Two character traits of an upright person are wisdom, and understanding. The book of Proverbs is drenched with instruction on being wise and acquiring understanding.

Everyone with any sense—desires to navigate through life skillfully. Remember—the book of Proverbs is our guide for skillful living. A firm grasp on uprightness will assist us in living wisely.

One way to look at uprightness is to see it as freedom. Leviticus 26:13 says,

I have broken the bands of your yoke and made you walk upright.

The burden of bondage causes us to slump over with heaviness, worry, condemnation and shame. Freedom looses us to stand upright, both in our stature and in our heart and soul.

Almost all of Proverbs 14 has to do with walking uprightly, but I will highlight just a few (or more) significant verses, using NKJV and The Message.

Verse 1, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
This is huge and one of my favorites (being a woman and all). If we are not in unity and submission with God and His will, as well as with our husbands, we—with our own hands demolish our family! Careful ladies!

Verse 2—“He who walks in his uprightness fears the Lord, but he who is perverse in his ways despises Him.”
The Message version reiterates this verse very frankly. “An honest life shows respect for God; a degenerate life is a slap in his face.” Ouch!

Verse 3—“In the mouth of a fool is a rod of pride, but the lips of the wise will preserve them.”

Verse 9—“Fools mock at sin, but among the upright there is favor.”
Upright people have a hard time sinning—God’s favor, is their reward.

Verse 10—“The house of the wicked will be overthrown, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”

Verse 12 & 13—“There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to hell. Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak.”

Verse 25—“Souls are saved by truthful witness and betrayed by the spread of lies.”

Verse 29—“Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.”

Verse 30—“A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones.”
One way to attain good health is to align your heart with God’s.

Verse 33—“Wisdom rests in the heart of him who has understanding, but what is in the heart of fools is made known.”

Maybe you’re wondering—how do I live uprightly? How do I get wisdom and understanding? These are not stupid questions!

First, start with sincerely asking God—if we seek Him we will find Him. Seeking God means to wholeheartedly go after Him.

Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.

Next, if you’re seriously seeking Him, expect that He will answer and show you His will. When He does—deny yourself and obey His directives.

A lot of the time God keeps silent because He knows we won’t listen and do what He tells us, that’s why we must seek Him diligently. If we want to be wise and have understanding thus live uprightly—the first wise step is to listen and obey.

Proverbs 1:28-29
When they cry for help, I will not answer. Though they anxiously search for me, they will not find me.  For they hated knowledge and chose not to fear (obey) the Lord.

Changing our lifestyle is not always easy and change has to start on the inside. In seeking God first, we can be confident that He will take care of all the things we are concerned about. (Matt. 6:33)

Please be encouraged to ask God to help you live your life uprightly, you will not regret it—there are many rewards for upright living!

Skillful Living Tools

• To live skillfully—ascertain uprightness
• Understand that living uprightly is freedom
• Build your home with wisdom—don’t tear it apart with un-submissiveness
• The home and family of the upright will flourish
• Respect and honor God by living an honest life
• Be slow to anger
• The first step in being wise—is to listen and obey
• Remember change starts on the inside

Please share with those who need to live skillfully!

Check out the Skillful Living Tool Box (updated weekly) at the top of this page!

When Life Rages

Sometimes life just seems to rage and difficult situations arise one right after the other. Do you ever feel as if life is hard? Do you ever wonder if it’ll get easier? I used to have this false belief about life, that at some point you get to the other side of hard times. As time has passed, soberness has sunk in relaying the truth that opposition is part of life.

I have to be honest—my life is far from picture perfect. (Shocker right?) Although wouldn’t it be nice to Photoshop life? Just edit out bits and parts?

It’s a fact, trials happen.

With that in mind, what are we to do? Truthfully, I’ve tried a few options but the one choice that I’ve landed on, is to rely on God’s faithfulness.

Psalm 91:4 says,
Under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler.

• Worrying doesn’t help—the Bible instructs us not to worry. (Matthew 6:25-34)
• Being fearful is torturous—the Bible says God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
• Taking matters into our own hands never ends well—the Bible counsels us not to lean on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)
• Giving up does no good—the Bible tells us not to harden our heart. (Psalm 95:8)
• Ignoring problems will not make them go away and only leads to bigger crisis—the Bible admonishes us to be diligent. (2 Timothy 2:15)
• Telling God what I want Him to do about my situation is foolishness, we are not God, we only see in part. We do not know what He should do for us—the Bible is clear—it’s not my will be done but Your [God’s] will be done. (Matthew 6:10)

So you see, when life rages, relying on God’s faithfulness is not only the best option, but the only option.

How do we rely on God’s faithfulness?

Questions such as this one used to overwhelm me. I’m a doer, I like to know how to practically do what God wants me to do. When I get a directive from the Bible or from God Himself I always have to say “Okay, but how?” How do I, in my everyday life actually walk out your directives?

Below are a few ways I have learned to rely on God’s faithfulness.

First things first, we have to stop handling trials in our usual manner. (Such as the list above, that I gave.) One definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results. At some point we have to realize our ways aren’t God’s ways—then adopt His ways.

Relying on God’s faithfulness is a matter of trusting.

This next part is for those who have a hard time trusting God:
Because of various situations from my past, I used to have a hard time trusting God. Not that He did anything to cause me not to trust Him, but I was stuck in the lie of thinking that God was equal to people. I knew God was able to help me but I didn’t think He was willing. I knew He loved me. I read, prayed and believed scriptures about His faithfulness but still doubted He would help me. I went through healing and deliverance from my past, which helped me tremendously, yet I was terrified of being hurt again so trusting did not come easily.

Finally I realized it was a matter of the will. I had to will myself out of the sin of not believing God and His Word. By God’s grace I made an exchange—my unbelief and untrusting heart for faith in God. I also had to will myself to stop self-protecting my heart and rest in God’s faithfulness.

Once our will is in order—our mind and emotions can be as well. Our heart will follow our soul (mind, will and emotions) that’s why it’s so important to get our soul into submission to God’s Word.

Our heart was created to be God’s home, therefore it is very content to trust and believe in God’s faithfulness. This is one reason why we can’t find peace when our heart and soul are out of alignment.

To stay focused and believing in God’s faithfulness we must:

• Guard our will from becoming bent the wrong way
• Protect our heart from becoming hard
• Remember, our heart is to be God’s home
• Watch over our mind—keep it from doubt, negativity and from believing the enemy’s accusations against God.
• Control our emotions instead of them controlling us
• Read the Bible, pray and worship
• Be thankful and give God praise
• Take up a shield of faith
• Learn from each trial and look at it as another chance to trust God
• Know that God causes all things to work together for our good

When life rages you do not have to be afraid, but can find your peace, rest and trust in God. Please be encouraged to will yourself to rely on His faithfulness—He will never disappoint you!

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand]. I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust! For [then] He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. Psalm 91:1-3